Wayside School is Falling Down

A new student enters Mrs. Jewls’s class. She introduces him as “Mark Miller,” although his actual name is Benjamin Nushmutt. Benjamin is a shy child who always struggles to introduce himself because he finds his own name difficult to say. He is also hesitant to correct a teacher. He takes a seat, resolving to find the courage to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name when the class leaves for morning recess. At recess, he loses his nerve and spends the 10-minute recess time sitting on the stairs, waiting for his classmates to come back up. When they return, their friendliness makes him wonder if they would like Benjamin Nushmutt as much as they seem to like Mark Miller. Mrs. Jewls passes out some work, and Benjamin does not know which name to write on his paper. Louis comes to the classroom door with Benjamin’s lunch, which his mother has delivered, but Mrs. Jewls assures Louis that there is no “Benjamin” in her classroom. Benjamin worries that if he tries to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name now, she will think that he is trying to steal someone else’s lunch. He writes “Mark Miller” on his paper, thinking that someday he will need to tell Mrs. Jewls his actual name.

Mrs. Jewls calls Bebe up to her desk and asks her about the note written on the back of her homework assignment. It reads, “MRS. JEWLS IS AS FAT AS A HIPPOPOTAMUS! (AND SHE SMELLS LIKE ONE, TOO)” (16). Bebe protests that her younger brother, Ray, must have written the rude note to get her into trouble. Mrs. Jewls says that they will teach Ray a lesson; she gives Bebe an A+ and a lollipop. A similar incident occurs the next day. Bebe tells Mrs. Jewls that Ray is always getting her into trouble at home because he pulls pranks that she is then blamed for masterminding. Again, Bebe gets an A+ and a lollipop. On the third day, Bebe reads aloud a report on George Washington that is really just a series of insults about Mrs. Jewls. She tells Mrs. Jewls that Ray put toothpaste in her socks, causing her mother to yell at her for wasting toothpaste. Feeling sorry for Bebe, Mrs. Jewls calls Bebe’s mother to chide her for always believing Ray instead of Bebe. Bebe’s mother asks, “Who’s Ray?”

Mrs. Jewls attempts to lead a lesson about fractions, but she is constantly interrupted by her students’ irrelevant questions, comments, and stories. The chief offender is Mac, who diverts the conversation by talking about finding a missing sock in the refrigerator. When it is time for recess, Mrs. Jewls must assign the remainder of the lesson as homework. The pattern is repeated after recess because Mac gets the class off-track by talking about a giant watermelon. Mrs. Jewls assigns the remainder of the science lesson as homework, as well. By the end of the day, the class has homework in four subjects. On his walk home, Mac complains to a student from another class that it is unfair that Mrs. Jewls assigns more homework than any other teacher at Wayside School.

On show-and-tell day, Sharie brings a “hobo” named Bob to class. Bob describes his life riding trains, avoiding baths, and eating mulligan stew with his friends. The children are fascinated by his refusal to wear socks, especially since he claims that no one will hire him because of this quirk. He points out that Albert Einstein often went without socks. Although Bo claims that this is “[b]ecause socks make you stupid” (34), Mrs. Jewls is quick to contradict this idea. Bob tells the children that when he was a child, he once earned first place in his school’s spelling bee on a day when he was sockless. As a result, he has gone without socks ever since. Mac interrupts with his story about losing one of his socks, and he is astonished when Bob easily guesses where he found the sock. After Bob leaves, Mrs. Jewls says that it is time for the weekly spelling test. Before she can begin the test, she must wait for all the students to remove their socks.

Paul and Leslie are alone in the classroom during recess. Paul congratulates himself on maturing enough to stop pulling Leslie’s pigtails. However, when he is overwhelmed by a desire to do it again, he asks her for permission to pull one of her pigtails. When she refuses, he asks whether he might just touch one pigtail. Leslie is disgusted and leaves the room. Paul leans out the window to get some fresh air. Leslie returns unexpectedly, startling him and causing him to fall out the window. Fortunately, he catches himself on a brick jutting out from the wall. He calls to Leslie to help him, and she realizes that the only way to help him is to lean out the window and let him grab her long pigtails. Once Paul is safely back in the classroom, he promises never to pull her pigtails again. He laughs, telling Leslie, “This time your pigtails pulled me” (43).

Myron, who is seated by the classroom window, feeds some crumbs to a visiting bird that he has named “Oddly.” He wonders if the bird thinks the classroom is Myron’s cage. Wanting to feel more freedom, he tries sitting on the floor instead of in his seat, but Mrs. Jewls makes him return to his chair. After lunch, Myron decides that he is tired of the stifling rules and routines of school. Instead of trooping back upstairs with the other students, he goes downstairs to the school’s basement. Frightened by the rumors that he has heard about the basement, he panics when he hears footsteps behind him in the darkness. He tosses a sneaker off to one side and is relieved when the footsteps seem to head toward the sound. When he throws his other sneaker in the same direction, however, he does not hear it land; instead, he hears the footsteps coming toward him again. He runs, but when he falls, the footsteps catch up to him. A light comes on, and Myron sees a bald man and two men with black mustaches. The bald man returns Myron’s left shoe. One of the other men asks his name and then asks him what he is doing out of his “cage—I mean, seat?” (50). When Myron says he just wants to be free, the bald man tells him that he must choose—he can be free, or he can be safe. Myron chooses freedom, and the men have him sign a piece of paper; Myron cannot read the language that the document is written in. The men pronounce him free, turn off the light, and disappear. When Myron finally makes it back to Mrs. Jewls’s classroom, she tells him that he is tardy and should write his name on the discipline list on the board. Instead, Myron sits down on the floor, refusing to take the math test that everyone else is working on. Mrs. Jewls is powerless to do anything about it because Myron is now “free.” After school, Mrs. Jewls finds Myron’s other sneaker in the refrigerator of the teachers’ lounge.