Truly Madly Guilty

Truly Madly Guilty interrogates parenthood as a space of responsibility and guilt. The narrative suggests that parents need not be responsible to feel guilty, and in tandem, questions how we ascribe responsibility when traumatic accidents occur.

Moriarty sets up a dialectical debate about parental responsibility. Vid and Clementine both admit to being susceptible to distraction when caring for their children. Clementine lost Holly at a record store, and Vid lost Dakota at the beach. In both cases, the lost child was soon found. Tiffany and Sam claim they would never lose track of their children and that the other two are “feckless.” Although not a parent herself, Erika internally judges the parents and believes she would never be so “incompetent and irresponsible.” However, Moriarty upends this parental dichotomy when Ruby’s accident occurs under the watch of all the adults, who were collectively distracted by sex and desire. As a result, there is a painful, shared accountability between the couples, regardless of their prior proclaimed statuses of irresponsible versus responsible. With this shared accountability comes guilt, blame, and shame.

Sam and Clementine both struggle with their culpability and guilt. They punish themselves for their perceived failures as parents. At the hospital, Clementine’s mother makes Clementine feel directly responsible for the accident:

‘You’re smarter than that. You know better!’ continued Pam, her eyes fixed on Clementine with such intensity it was as though Clementine were a stranger to her, as though she were trying to work out who this person was who had harmed her granddaughter. ‘Were you drunk? How could you? How could you be so stupid?’ Her face crumpled into a million lines before she covered it with both hands (296).

Not only does Pam accuse Clementine of failing as a parent, but Clementine also becomes the agent of Ruby’s suffering: “[T]his person who had harmed [Pam’s] granddaughter” (296). Attempting to expiate her guilt, Clementine becomes overly self-sacrificing, as her main perceived flaw is her selfishness. She accepts her mother’s blame and abides to Pam’s idea that Clementine raise awareness of the dangers of childhood drowning. Part of Clementine’s penance is to immerse herself in these community talks.

Unexpectedly, Pam is the first character to let go of the need to apply blame. After Holly reveals that she pushed Ruby into the fountain, Pam realizes she was wrong to blame Clementine. Although Holly was directly responsible for Ruby’s accident, Pam doesn’t believe she deserves to feel guilty for it. This strongly contrasts with what she thought about her own daughter—although Clementine was not directly responsible, she is the mother and therefore should feel guilt. Pam convinces Holly that Ruby must have slipped on her own. Subsequently, Pam’s anger at Clementine also dissipates. However, Pam chooses to conceal the truth and never unburdens Clementine—or the other barbecue attendees—of their guilt. Regardless, the characters find emotional resolutions without this knowledge. This outcome suggests that responsibility is irrelevant when it comes to guilt.

Harry’s story is a caveat of how unmanaged self-blame can become untenable. His family died in a tragic fairground accident. There was a chain of culpability, where callous cost-cutting measures by capitalist middle-managers led to the deaths of seven people. The only person willing to take responsibility was the maintenance manager who had been let go before the incident: “Only Primo Paspaz said ‘I’m sorry’ to Harry. He said, ‘It would never have happened on my watch.’ People needed to take responsibility” (400). Harry spends the rest of his life attempting to make people take responsibility, all the while never being able to accept that he was not responsible for the accident. He spends his life blaming himself for not being a good enough father and husband and for not showing his family how much he loved them. He dies without finding self-forgiveness and represents a dire outcome of never resolving one’s guilt.

Like Harry, Sam internalizes his guilt and becomes irritable, unfocused, and brittle. He loses his confidence in his manhood and his faith in his ability to handle a crisis. His guilt manifests into anger at Vid and Tiffany and at his own susceptibility to sexual distractions. Tiffany’s past as a stripper is a particular target for his frustrations because sexuality is easy to demonize. The narrative underscores Sam and Clementine’s lack of sexual connection:

Tiffany watched Sam and Clementine look at each other, their faces flushed, their pupils dilated. It would be a kindness. A public service. She could see exactly where their sex life was at. They were tired parents of young kids. They thought it was all over, and it wasn’t, they didn’t need an affair or a midlife crisis, it was all still in them, they were still attracted to each other, they just needed a little electric shock to the system, a little stimulus, maybe some sex toys, some good-quality soft porn. She could be their good-quality soft porn (236).

Tiffany uses her sex appeal to excite her guests, and Sam, like the others, is susceptible to her flirtations. After the accident, Sam feels helpless and directs his anger outward onto his wife as well as Tiffany and Vid, even though he is really angry with himself.

However, the novel also suggests the possibility of redemption. Sam saves a baby in a stroller from rolling down a hill into traffic. He puts his hand on the stroller while the mother is distracted by her other child. This incident also helps to separate the idea of parental responsibility from the necessity of guilt. Although a parent is in a role of responsibility, no one is infallible, and accidents do occur. This is distinct from those responsible for running a fairground, where the accidents are predictable, limited in number, and preventable. Yet parental guilt for an accident can be much greater and more burdensome than an actual failure of responsibility. Moriarty’s narrative interrogates the concept of guilt and asks the reader to think about how it is applied disproportionately. The novel shows that an accident can lead to a whole life unjustly blighted by guilt.