The Love of My Life

Leo struggles with his emotions over this new knowledge about Emma. He drives home erratically, nearly causing an accident, and then pulls over to cry. He constantly thinks about Emily. His wife is no longer the woman he thought he knew. He is angry, but a part of him understands Emma’s reluctance to share some of her past with him, such as her struggle with postpartum depression. He questions everything, from the midwife commenting on Ruby being a typical first birth to the legality of their marriage to Jill’s presence in their home in the aftermath of Ruby’s birth. Leo returns home to find his brother’s family still there and Sheila waiting for him at the door.

Sheila tells Leo that she was thinking about Emma’s disappearance, so she went to the nursery and asked to look at their security cameras. Sheila tells Leo and Olly that a car is visible on the footage. Sheila identified the car’s owner by contacting a friend at the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA). It belongs to Jill.

Earlier in the day, Jill approaches Emma on the street and insists Emma get in the car. Jill tells Emma that Leo needs more time and no longer wants to meet. As they drive, Jill insists that she has something important to share with Emma and refuses to allow Emma out of the car. Emma wants to speak to Leo but left her phone at home.

Jill refuses to tell Emma what she wants but looks suspiciously around the parking lot at her apartment when they arrive. Jill leads the way to her very neat apartment, and Emma decides to trust her because Jill has never done anything to make Emma not trust her over the 20 years they have known each other.

Leo tries to call Jill several times as he rushes to her apartment late at night. Jill doesn’t answer. Before he leaves, he pulls Sheila aside and thanks her for her information. Leo calls Jill again, but it goes to voicemail.

Emma continues to question Jill as she prepares tea. Charlie arrives, bringing Emma to tears. Charlie has known about this adoption all his life and knew who Emma was. Charlie reveals that not only did he attempt to reach Emma via Facebook—likely some of the odd messages that Leo deleted and one of the users he blocked—but he was the young man in the ball cap that Emma and Leo noticed watching Emma. Charlie explains his desire to meet Emma is based on his fear for his mother and his hope Emma might have some insight into where Janice might have gone. Charlie is worried about Janice but also curious about Emma. When she has no answers for him, he leaves. Jill convinces Emma to stay for a while to deal with her emotions.

Leo arrives at Jill’s, thinking how badly he wishes things were normal again and that he would be preparing for bed with Emma and Ruby. Jill is surprised to see Leo because he snuck through the front door behind another tenant and did not ring up. Emma is shocked to see Leo due to Jill’s insistence that he wasn’t ready to speak to her. Leo clarifies that Jill was talking about a conversation they had on Saturday, not a recent conversation. He insists he had wanted to speak to Emma that morning. Emma is confused, and her mood is further upset when Leo admits that he has learned the whole truth from Jeremy. Emma admits she had no intention of ever telling Leo the truth. Jill tells Leo that she arranged for Emma and Charlie to meet. Jill admits to lying to Emma but says her motivation was to get Emma and Charlie together, which was worth the risk. Emma is angry with Jill when she thinks of how Ruby might have thought her mother had chosen to walk away from her. Jill admits she always felt guilty about Emma’s pregnancy because she knew David Rothschild was married and didn’t warn her. Emma forgives Jill but decides to go home with Leo.

Leo and Emma don’t speak on the way home. Emma admires Leo as she has always done when he is driving. She tries once to talk to him, but he refuses to listen. At home, Emma offers to sleep on the couch, but Leo insists on sleeping in the shed. Leo explains that he’s upset because Emma never trusted him with her story. He feels sympathy for what she went through but is angry he didn’t even know her name. Charlie and Jeremy arrive. Charlies says there was something else he’d needed to talk to Emma about but had been afraid to.

Leo offers to leave Emma with Charlie and Jeremy, but she insists he stay. Jeremy tells them that someone from the shop in Alnmouth called to tell them Janice bought two packets of paracetamol that morning. Concerned, Jeremy and Charlie plan to drive up the next day after Jeremy is off work. They are worried Janice might be suicidal. Charlie says he knows his mother disappeared because he has been reading her diaries. Charlie says he knows about the smothering and the postpartum psychosis. In her mind, Emma connects the memory of Charlie’s smothering to her need to check on Ruby’s breathing. Charlie tells Emma that his mother has admitted that the smothering was a lie. He gives her one of the diaries open to a specific date.

From Janice’s diary: Janice admits to lying about Emily attempting to smother Charlie. She believes that she thought it was true at the time, but the more she thinks back on it, the more she knows that Emily was only playing peek-a-boo with the baby. Janice also realizes that Emily doesn’t know the truth, but the guilt of ruining Emily’s life weighs heavy on her.

Charlie says, “I confronted her” (327) on her lie, and Janice admitted it, but Jeremy had no idea. Charlie explains that when he came home for Easter, his mother was acting oddly. That’s why when he saw her diaries lying around and decided to read them. When he returned for summer break, he again sought out the diaries and found the entry he had Emma read. Charlie wonders if Emma always believed she hurt Charlie. She admits she did. Finally, Charlie says that Janice mentions a sanctuary in Northumberland that she associates with Emma and wonders if Emma knows what that might be. Emma says she doesn’t. After Charlie and Jeremy leave, Emma grieves Charlie once again because she now knows she put her baby up for adoption over a lie.

Emma goes to Leo as he tries to sleep. They talk about her lies, and Leo has Emma clarify that their marriage is likely illegal because she wasn’t honest on the application about changing her name. She also admits that Jill did stay with them after Ruby’s birth in case Emma developed postpartum psychosis again. Emma apologizes for all the little lies supporting the big secret, and Leo seems open to it. He understands why Emma was afraid to tell him but still feels betrayed that she didn’t trust him enough. Emma then says she thinks she might have an idea where Janice has gone, mentioning the letter Janice sent to her and a sheep shed where they spent a rainy afternoon when she was pregnant. Leo encourages Emma to call Charlie.

Emma and Charlie drive up to Northumberland to check out the shed. They don’t speak much, as Charlie is exhausted and worried about his mother. When they arrive, Emma leads the way to the old stone shed, but it’s abandoned. As they do, Emma notices some glamping cabins nearby. She sees they have the same view of Coquet Island as the shed, matching Janice’s desired sanctuary. After she and Charlie have lunch, they return to the village and attempt to find some information on Janice there.

Emma convinces Charlie to go to his family vacation home, where he immediately falls asleep. She returns to the cabins and finds Janice under the influence of several packets of pills. Janice is annoyed to see Emma and mentions that someone else has already been there. Emma searches for a cell phone signal and runs into Leo, who has already called an ambulance.

Leo drove to Northumberland because he spoke to Sheila, and they both determined that Janice would not go to the shed Emma remembered. Sheila makes a call and discovers Janice is registered in one of the glamping cabins. With this information, Leo drove to Northumberland to search for Janice himself.

After Janice is transported to the hospital, Leo and Emma walk on the beach. Leo tells Emma he can’t imagine his life without her and suggests they get married again since her lie about her name change on their marriage license invalidates their marriage.

Emma is happily remarried to Leo and is developing a relationship with Charlie. Charlie has texted and suggested he and Emma get together when he is next home from school. Emma thinks of Leo, Charlie, and Ruby as the loves of her life. She eagerly wakes Leo, anxious to begin a new day and share Charlie’s text with him because now there are no secrets between them.