The Lost Man

“Nathan walked around the four-wheel drive and, for the second time that day, felt something shift and tilt off-center. The exterior was completely unremarkable. It was dirty and stone-chipped, but he could see nothing wrong with it. He felt an unpleasant, cool prickle at the base of his neck. Nothing was wrong, and that in itself felt very wrong indeed.”

Nathan examines Cam’s car, which is undamaged. This makes Nathan suspicious. Cam knows the cardinal rule of the outback is to never leave your car. Leaving a functioning vehicle is unthinkable. Nathan will become the detective in this mystery novel—he immediately begins questioning the circumstances of Cam’s death.

“Their brother didn’t look injured, at least not in the traditional sense. But heat and thirst did terrible things to a person. He had started to remove his clothes as logic had deserted him, and his skin was cracked. Whatever had been going through Cameron’s mind when he was alive, he didn’t look peaceful in death.”

Harper reinforces the brutal nature of the outback by describing what Cam went through as he died. Nathan isn’t sure if Cam did this purposefully, as this reference to his state of mind makes that clear. He questions whether Cam’s death was self-inflicted, and this question will drive his investigation.

“Liz had always tried hard not to play favorites, but Cameron’s ready smile, quick mind, and well-run property hadn’t made it easy. Bub, unshaven and dust-streaked, was rubbing his eye with a dirty finger. Nathan knew he looked no better.”

Nathan and Bub return from Cam’s body, and the reader is introduced to their mother, Liz. At the beginning of the novel, Cam is seen as the most successful of the three brothers: charming and popular in the community. This passage reinforces this idea with Nathan’s acknowledgment that Cam was Liz’s favorite son. This perception is loaded in light of the novel’s conclusion: Liz is Cam’s killer.

“Nathan didn’t sit up in his chair. He didn’t straighten his shoulders or run a hand through his hair or neaten his shirt. The urge was so instinctive, he found it a little uncomfortable to resist, like holding his breath. But still, he didn’t move. He just sat there, pushing back against involuntary reactions. Eventually, he counted to three and allowed himself to raise his eyes and glance at Ilse, just once. She wasn’t even looking at him.”

Nathan’s reaction to Ilse entering the room is telling—in his quest to hide his attraction from her, he reveals it to the reader. Ilse seems to indicate that the attraction is not reciprocal. Their previous relationship is another reason that Nathan distanced himself from his family and another way that he removed himself from Depending on Community.

“When Nathan found himself alone—not the first time when Jacqui had left, but the second time, the real time—he had passed long hours working out feverishly with a dented old weights set in one of his sheds.”

Nathan’s isolation began when Jacqui left him and took Xander to Brisbane. The “second time” he refers to is when Balamara shunned him for leaving Keith on the road. He refers to the second time as “the real time,” indicating that his isolation is due to this exile, which hurt him more than his divorce.

“The story had whipped through the district like a dust storm. The disgust and distrust were palpable. Leaving someone stranded out there was not a matter of manners, it was life and death in the most literal sense. Nathan had single-handedly managed to do the unthinkable and unite the entire town—white, Indigenous, old, young, long-standing rivals, firm friends. Thirty-year grudges were set aside for as long as it took to discuss Nathan’s transgression. On this issue alone, the entire community of Balamara was unwavering. Leaving a fellow man at the mercy of the elements was almost unimaginable and absolutely unforgivable.”

After Nathan left Keith on the side of the road, the community united in their opinion that his action transgressed the most basic law of their community. The response brought everyone in the community together, no matter their history or identity. This event illustrates the theme of depending on community in two ways—Nathan is deprived of his community because he did not act as a member of the community.

“It might never have occurred to Nathan to piss on a grave, but he knew Bub maybe had a little more incentive. The key with Carl Bright that you had to learn quick and early was to say out of his way whenever you could and keep your head well down the rest of the time. Bub, born late, had never gotten the hang of it.”

Nathan sees Bub urinating on their father’s grave. He reveals their violent family history and the abuse that they both survived from Carl. He also makes it clear that Bub received the worst of it. This passage connects to the theme of Learning to Be a Father in that Nathan shapes his relationship with Xander by doing the opposite of what Carl would have done.

“Bub had been thinking about this, Nathan realized, as he turned to face them. There was something in the air as they stood there. Something almost complicit, Nathan thought, and not entirely comfortable. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything, and finally Bub shrugged.”

Cam rejected Bub’s plan to change the muster for Burley Downs. Bub claims that if Cam had the idea, they would have executed it. Now that Cam is dead, he, Nathan, and Ilse could move forward with it. Cam’s death frees his family to move forward, changing the dynamic even in concrete ways such as the operation of the farm.

“‘There was his picture, I suppose. But I never knew why he painted it, he thought the stockman was stupid. And he was.’ ‘Oh, yeah?’ ‘He shot himself by mistake. Climbing through a fence and not paying attention. His foot slipped and he accidentally blew his own head off with his gun.”

When Nathan asks Sophie if Cam had an attachment to the stockman’s grave, her answer surprises him. She claims he had no respect for the stockman and shares a story about how the stockman died. The legend of the stockman’s death is shared by different people, and each has a different version. The story says more about the person who shared it than the stockman, and Cam’s version reflects his anger and frustration over Katy’s pregnancy and Ilse’s attempts to escape.

“It took a long time for Cameron to look Nathan in the eye again. When he did, it was through a shadow of betrayal that never, in twenty years, fully went away.”

Carl confronted Cam and Nathan about Jenna Moore’s accusation of rape. When Cam asked Nathan to back him up, Nathan hesitated, and that hesitation stayed between them for the rest of Cam’s life. Nathan’s hesitation showed what he would only consciously recognize much later. Jenna’s story rings true, and he believes his brother is capable of rape.

“‘I heard that was how the stockman died,’ Ilse said quietly. ‘Trampled in a stampede.’”

Harper offers the reader another version of the stockman’s story, this time from Ilse. As with Cam’s version, it reveals more about the teller than the stockman. She feels trapped and out of control, as if she is being trampled. Ilse survived Cam’s abuse but is a victim of The Culture of Silence surrounding abuse in the Bright family.

“He was about to move away when his gaze snagged on the left edge of the painting. There was a dark smudge on the horizon that he’d never noticed before. It was a muted dark gray, and faint to the point of transparency.”

Nathan sees flaws in Cam’s painting that he never recognized before just as he now sees flaws in the painter. He almost reaches to touch the painting, but Ilse and her daughters’ reactions are instantaneous and vehement that he shouldn’t. Their reactions show the aggressiveness Cam used to control them, so much so that his control remains even after his death.

“‘I’m afraid, all right? That the property, and all this—’ He gestured at the void outside the window. ‘—all this bloody outback—is going to get to you, like it did to Uncle Cam.’”

Xander is concerned about Nathan’s mental health, and his concern increases after Cam’s death. He understands the powerful effect of the environment and his father’s isolation. In the end, Xander’s pleas to his father convince him to seek help and change his behavior, coming out of isolation and back to depending on community.

“Nathan stopped. He and Cameron were the same height. They had been since they were teenagers. Why had he had to adjust the seat? Had either of the cops moved it during their search? Nathan didn’t think so, but he wasn’t sure. By how much had he had to correct it? Backward first, or forward? He sat there for a long while, trying to think. He couldn’t remember.”

Nathan slips into his role as a detective investigating the crime scene. The details that he and Xander notice eventually snap into place with the revelation that Liz is Cam’s killer. Nathan had to adjust the seat because Liz, rather than Cam, was the last person to drive his car. Thoughtful observation is a characteristic of Nathan that his son shares, making them an effective detective team.

“Nathan had always assumed it had been Liz who had sent Harry over with the satellite tracker. Two buttons. I’m okay; I’m not okay. Each night he pressed the same one, no matter how strong the urge was to do otherwise. […] The same message, sent up by a fragile beam into the night sky. Shooting up to a satellite, then falling all the way back down to earth. A connection through thousands of kilometers of space. He stood outside the office door, with Ilse on the other side, and for the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn’t feel so alone.”

The GPS tracker that Nathan uses to communicate with his family lets them know that he is alive, but no more. Nathan has withdrawn from everyone, first his ex-wife and child, then his community, and finally his family. His journey in the novel is a return to life through human connection. His realization that Ilse is looking out for him encourages Nathan to reach out for help.

“You have seen this before. Not exactly, Nathan told himself. He stopped. Not exactly, but a version of it. More immature, far less refined, but the basic elements. An intense campfire flirtation. Patient persistence. A backpacker grateful for someone to talk to among a crowd of strangers. The gentle manipulation and focused attention that meant when she looked up, hours later, she had spoken to no one else and made only one connection all night. The groaning weight of expectation. You have seen this before.”

Katy tells Nathan how she and Simon came to work on Burley Downs and about Cam’s pursuit of her. As she tells her story, Nathan recognizes similarities to Jenna Moore’s. Although he avoided thinking about Jenna in the years since, Nathan now sees a pattern in Cam’s behavior and becomes more convinced that Jenna’s accusations were true.

“She was warm and steady, and suddenly it was all flooding back: the way he had felt that first night, lying close to her with the years laid out ahead of him and the choices still there to be made. And he felt as though in this moment, for once in his life, he was exactly where he should be, with his arms around her as the Christmas stars burned hot and bright in the night sky above them. It felt right. It felt like a second chance.”

Nathan and Ilse spend the night in the back of his car as they did when they first met many years ago. Nathan’s journey of reconnection includes rekindling his romance with Ilse. When they reconnect, they remark that the future seems full of possibilities, contrasting with their earlier lives in which both felt trapped and isolated.

“The funeral had opened the floodgates, Nathan thought. With Cam safely in the ground, it seemed everyone felt more able to say what they couldn’t when he was walking around. Nathan looked now at his son. He was nearly grown-up in so many ways now. Not a child anymore. And there had already been too many secrets kept for too long in that house.”

Xander admits to Nathan that he suspects Cam injured Sophie’s arm. He thinks she is still frightened to tell him even though her father is dead, much as other family members remain under his sway. After he is buried, however, the family seems to recognize that they are free of his control and abuse, and they begin to loosen the culture of silence.

“He couldn’t simply leave, for lots of reasons. Financial. Practical. And not the least sometimes, quite a lot of the time, he felt connected to the outback in a way that he loved. There was something about the brutal heat, when the sun was high in the sky and he was watching the slow meandering movement of the herds. Looking out over the wide-open plans and seeing the changing colors in the dust. It was the only time when he felt something close to happiness. If Xander couldn’t feel it himself, and Nathan knew not everyone could, then he couldn’t explain it. It was harsh and unforgiving, but it felt like home.”

When Xander asks Nathan to move to Brisbane to be closer to him, Nathan only sees the reasons that make it seem impossible. He also admits reluctance to leave—although the landscape is harsh and unforgiving, it is home, and he loves it. Nathan feels trapped by his ranch, his exile, and his ex-wife, but he never feels trapped by the landscape, which offers freedom.

“He hadn’t called anyone for help because it simply hadn’t occurred to him that he could. He knew the unspoken rules: don’t tell anyone, not even each other. And even if he’d thought to ask for help, there had seemed no point asking for something that simple wasn’t there.”

Nathan confronts Harry about why he did nothing when he suspected Cam of abusing his family. Harry responds by asking him why he did nothing when Carl abused them. Nathan realizes that he didn’t do so because he didn’t believe anyone could, or would, help. This is not uncommon in abusive situations, when people feel like they have no options. Because of the culture of silence surrounding abuse, survivors often feel isolated and trapped, an additional element of psychological abuse.

“Lo threw him a look that implied his artistic opinion was of questionable value, but Nathan could tell she was pleased. He wasn’t making it up, either. The images were all imitations of Cameron’s theme and were unavoidably childish, but they were strangely expressive. Where Cameron had been heavy-handed with the shadow, she had managed to capture corners of light.”

Lo paints several renditions of the stockman’s grave but can’t believe Nathan’s assessment that they are better than Cam’s painting. As Nathan’s perspective on Cam changes, so does his perspective on Cam’s painting. He becomes able to see the darkness in his brother and the artwork. Lo’s rendition, coming at the end of the novel, offers a sense of hope and new beginnings for the Bright family.

“He raised his hands, feeling the buzz of an outlaw as he lifted the frame from the wall. It was surprisingly light for something that seemed to take up so much space in the house. Nathan waited a moment, but nothing happened. Cameron’s spirit did not, in fact, rise from its otherworldly slumber to warn against the perils of leaving fingerprints on the brushwork. Nathan grinned to himself as he carried the painting down the hall, looking at the colors of the land and the sky and the grave. He realized that what he had said to Lo was absolutely true. There was nothing special about this painting. There was no life in it. It was the flat, uninspired work of a man who was too blind to see all the good things he had.”

Nathan takes Cam’s painting off the wall and symbolically breaks the spell of Cam’s control. He sees the painting as it is—flawed and lifeless. As the painting’s flaws are revealed, so are Cam’s. Additionally, by taking the painting down, Nathan unintentionally exposes Ilse’s envelope, which points to Cam’s killer. The painting reveals both Cam’s character and the person who killed him because of it.

“Golden Rule in this house. Who had warned him? Don’t touch the painting. Everyone. Everyone had. The footsteps were close now. ‘I tried to tell you,’ a voice said. ‘You never listen, Nathan.’ He turned.”

When Nathan removes the painting from the wall, he finds Ilse’s documents and knows that whoever killed Cam put them there. That doesn’t help him narrow his list of suspects, however, as anyone could have done it. At the climax of the novel, when the killer is revealed, Harper increases the tension by not immediately revealing the other speaker.