The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage

Chapter 6 opens with an anecdote. Tom sees an attractive woman across the bar. He hesitates to speak to her, too afraid that she would reject a divorced guy with two kids. Robbins uses Tom’s story to underline that people do not regret failing after trying but regret not taking action at all. This is because people are not as afraid of failing as of trying. Robbins emphasizes that there is no “right time” to act—the best time is in the moment.

Adam Grant’s book Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World (2016) argues that even famous heroes hesitated and doubted themselves because they did not think they were ready. They became renowned despite these fears because they, in the end, acted. For example, Michelangelo, the painter of the Sistine Chapel, hid in Florence and had to be chased by the Pope for two years before he agreed to the job.

Robbins urges readers to think about the point of waiting. Why wait for an external push, or the right time, or a sign, when chances often only come once? Robbins warns that waiting is not simply procrastination but an active step away from achieving our dreams. Since people only have one life, the only right time to start acting is “right now” (81).

There is also no point waiting for external validation. People often have creative ideas or concepts but hold back because they want someone else to vet it. However, the world will not bend to accommodate. Rather, it is up to individuals to put themselves out there. For example, Tom at the bar cannot stand around waiting for his soulmate to pick him up. Similarly, an aspiring television star must not wait for opportunities to land in their laps, as TV executives are looking for people who don’t wait. Procrastinating and reflecting on uncertainties will only amplify our fears: This is called the “spotlight effect” in the field of psychology (83).

Robbins reminds readers that people can act even if they are uncertain. They can be ready despite their fears. Whether actions end up in success or failure is irrelevant because the act of stepping up in the first place is progress. In Tom’s case, counting back from five, walking across the bar on two, and speaking to the woman are proof of his decision to live again and start anew. This is an act of courage and control. Whether the woman ends up being his soulmate or not is irrelevant: Having the courage to move forward is what matters for Tom’s life going forth.

Rovio, the brand that created Angry Birds, published 51 unsuccessful games before their breakthrough. Mark Ruffalo from The Avengers auditioned for almost 600 roles before landing that of the Hulk. Pablo Picasso might have created 100 masterpieces in his lifetime, but this is among a total of over 50,000 works. In other words, courage, confidence, and self-worth all exist within people: It is this power rather than immediate success or failure that is priceless.

Robbins sets out to prove that people make decisions based on their feelings, not logic. She uses an anecdote to illustrate this: Christine, who is in a crucial work meeting, suddenly has a brilliant idea about how to close a deal. However, she does not immediately speak up because self-doubt creeps up and prevents her from voicing her thoughts. In other words, people often know what they should be doing to improve their lives, but they still do not act because their decisions are dictated by their feelings, which are never decisive in the moment.

Studies show that people always prefer to choose the immediately gratifying option, the one that makes them feel good and secure in the moment, rather than the one that logically will contribute to growth in the long term. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio studied people who, after sustaining damage to their brains, could no longer feel emotions. He found out that these people could logically describe the pros and cons of making a choice but could not actually act upon it. Without feelings, even the simple choice of deciding what they wanted to eat became incredibly difficult. As a result, Damasio describes people as “feeling machines that think” rather than “thinking machines that feel” (91).

Robbins argues that when people make a decision, they subconsciously weigh the pros and cons in a fraction of a second before making a “gut call” based on how they feel. In other words, when Christine was hesitating about speaking up, she was not asking herself whether she should share her idea, but whether she felt like it. This desire for immediate gratification is why enacting change is extremely difficult.

Robbins argues that the #5SecondRule helps people untangle their feelings from their actions by preventing hesitation from growing and forcing an immediate action. People who struggle with dieting, executing business plans, or hitting sales targets are not incapable of doing the work to change: People can control how they act. The true battle is to win against your feelings, which lull you into a false or temporary sense of security.

In other words, unlike our actions, feelings are what’s most difficult to control. The #5SecondRule bypasses this by enticing an immediate change in behavior. In the meeting, Christine starts counting backward from five and finally declares that she has an idea. Regardless of the outcome, this is a monumental achievement: Christine fought and won against her feelings of self-doubt. She gained the confidence to assert herself. Robbins believes that if she continues to use the Rule, then this will become a habit, one that will empower her in the long run.

People who wish to try out the #5SecondRule can do so immediately by setting their alarm clock 30 minutes earlier than usual, counting down from five as soon as it rings, and pushing themselves out of bed immediately. This challenge is important for three reasons: First, it is straightforward and leaves no room for failure if the Rule is being used correctly. Second, it is representative; if people can change their morning routine, they can use the Rule to change anything else they want. Finally, it allows people to get rid of the first and hardest roadblock toward change. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi argues that, in human behavior, the initial “activation energy” to make change is incredibly high, but subsequently, the energy required to maintain the new routine is much lower. In short, if people can get themselves out of bed in the morning, then they can also enact all the other changes in their lives. If they fail that initial challenge, then there is no reason to believe they can accomplish any other life-changing goals either.

Robbins wants the challenge to be difficult, which is why she argues for setting the alarm 30 minutes in advance. People who were filled with determination might start to falter at the sound of the alarm the following morning. However, if people can force themselves out of bed in five seconds, it positively foreshadows the future and may help people completely change their mindsets.

Robbins talks about a man named Stephen, who shared that this was the case for him: After applying the #5SecondRule to wake up at 6:30 a.m., he realized that it “sucked” and he still hated mornings. However, the feeling only lasted a few minutes, and for the rest of the day, he felt ready to seize the day. This initial accomplishment changed his mindset, and he went from someone who settled to someone who enjoyed challenges.

In sum, Robbins argues that applying the #5SecondRule over time will make a huge difference in people’s behavior, helping them become more proactive and take control of their lives.