Starfish

In the final stage of the narrative, Ellie faces her greatest challenge: breaking free from the self-hatred and shame imposed on her by herself and by her mother. Ellie stands up for herself in new situations, including appointments with adult medical professionals who treat her disrespectfully. Applying her newfound confidence to situations outside of home life and school demonstrate that Ellie has fully embraced her journey toward self-acceptance. Now, her final hurdle is to fully reinforce it to herself and assert it to Mom.

The narrative has two climaxes that resolve two different conflicts, but which both drive Ellie’s final development. Ellie confronts her two most significant bullies: Marissa and Mom. She uses different tools to confront each, but each confrontation emphasizes the narrative’s themes. While self-worth is essential to both confrontations, the confrontation with Marissa in Poem 139: “Outnumbered” highlights The Importance of Support from Others and the confrontation with Mom in Poem 146: “Weight of Words” highlights The Power of Words.

The narrative’s first climax is encapsulated in Poems 138-140 (“Held for Ransom,” “Outnumbered,” and “Captured on Video”). Ellie opposes Marissa and Kortnee by refusing to comply with their demand that she perform a humiliating act on video in order to get her dog Gigi back. She no longer allows the girls to hold power over her, where in the past, she might have allowed them to dictate how she feels about herself and what she deserves. Ellie now sees the girls’ bullying for what it is and knows she doesn’t have to tolerate it. “Outnumbered” reinforces The Importance of Support from Others: With Catalina, Catalina’s siblings, and Anaïs by her side, Ellie outnumbers Marissa and Kortnee with a strong network of support. In “Captured on Video,” Ellie demonstrates that she’s learned the lesson of Defending Yourself Without Attacking Others when she chooses not to post Catalina’s video (of Ellie throwing the cake in Marissa and Kortnee’s faces) on social media, because “that would be attacking / Marissa and Kortnee / and not defending myself” (227).

Poems 145-146 (“This is My Time” and “Weight of Words”) capture the climax of Ellie’s conflict with Mom. The moment prior to Ellie delivering her statement to Mom is significant, as she finally reaches a place of true self-worth. After realizing that her prepared statement is “a defense / of why I should be loved” (237), Ellie discards it, signaling that she has rejected the fallacy of believing she has to justify her existence in any way. This allows Ellie to confront Mom truthfully in “Weight of Words,” to assert her feelings about Mom’s abuse. “Weight of Words” concludes The Power of Words theme, as Ellie frees herself from the weight of Mom’s words by placing them in Mom’s hands, both literally and figuratively. Mom “crumbles” (240), indicating that she now realizes the damage she’s caused her daughter. Ellie’s ability to express herself directly to Mom helps their relationship begin to heal; however, Ellie doesn’t include further details after the family therapy session, leaving the outcome up to the reader’s interpretation.

Poems 147-150 (“Catching a Break,” “Whaling Wall,” “Three Times the Fun,” and “Room for Starfish”) constitute the narrative’s resolution and recall the images of both the whale and the starfish to illustrate Ellie’s final step toward Self-Acceptance. In “Whaling Wall,” Ellie considers a whale mural in a new light: “They swim. / They’re smart. / They have huge hearts. / And they have a voice” (242). These traits also apply to Ellie, suggesting that she has reclaimed the power of her bullies calling her a whale and reframed the whale (and herself) as beautiful. The final poem, like the first one, ends with Ellie swimming in a pool—but this time, she shares the experience with best friends Catalina and Viv. And this time, Ellie allows herself to “starfish”—to spread out and take up space—as she realizes “There’s plenty of room / for / each / and / every / one of us / in the world” (244). Again, this demonstrates that Ellie has reached the end of her emotional journey, fully leaning into The Importance of Support from Others and Self-Acceptance: Being Comfortable Taking Up Space.