Powerless

Paedyn’s and Kai’s narrative arcs parallel each other as they learn to build their identities through adversity and violence, a process that solidifies their romantic bond. Significantly, each of the protagonists has grown up hiding their true selves: “Our lives seem to share sad similarities, unfortunate fates. Both our childhoods consisted of training to become what we had to be, neither of us growing up the way we wished” (371). However, Paedyn and Kai’s developing relationship challenges the roles they have been trained for. Paedyn, for instance, repeatedly comments on her ability to see through Kai’s symbolic “masks.” This begins the first time they meet, when Paedyn is forced to demonstrate her fake Psychic ability to convince Kai that she’s not an Ordinary. While putting up her own façade, she can instantly tell that he feels guilty about his recent Enforcer responsibilities. Similarly, Kai can tell throughout the novel that Paedyn has romantic feelings for him even when she won’t admit it. This recognition of the other’s identity helps enable each of them to embrace their true selves.

Paedyn has been living in the slums for five years, since she fled her home after her father’s murder. She has also been hiding her lack of supernatural abilities her whole life to avoid persecution and now survives by stealing and fighting. Kai, despite being the king’s son, has been trained to become an assassin and torturer through physical and emotional violence. Although he resents his training, he accepts his duty. However, he is characterized as self-loathing and self-deprecating, often calling himself a “monster” and stating about his relationship with Paedyn that “beasts don’t get the beauty” (407). They share a similar shame about their identity and the behavior they’ve been forced into, and this shared emotional difficulty helps them bond. Paedyn, who often feels unimportant and weak due to her lower class and powerlessness, finally feels that who she is can be seen by Kai, whose identity is erased in his service to either the king or his brother.

Both characters have endured hardships that have traumatized them, but they also claim that it has given them strength. Paedyn even symbolically embraces her past self when Ace creates an illusion of her helpless, pleading self: “That girl—that haunted, weak girl begging for help, for love—is me. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’m still haunted, maybe even still hoping for love, but I am no longer weak because of it” (362). It is only because of the circumstances of the Trials that she can have and acknowledge this character development. The danger forces her to put her skills to the test and prove her strength, which offers her the confidence to see that she’s grown as a person. This growth enables her to make active decisions in her life, such as joining the Resistance. It’s also a trait that makes Kai further attracted to her.

Despite how she asserts that her hardships were necessary to who she ultimately became, she refuses to accept Kai’s training as normal or healthy: “It doesn’t matter how strong the king made him. The prince before me has been nothing but a pawn created by the man he calls Father” (371). She recognizes the trauma that his upbringing has caused him and rejects his assertion that his duty prevails over his happiness. Kai mirrors Paedyn’s feelings, as he admires her fortitude but resents that she has been forced to grow up poor and starving. In short, their adverse upbringings gave them their initial strength and determination, but how they connected amid the duress of the Trials allowed them to develop as characters and bond. Kai’s and Paedyn’s identities are characterized by the emotional strength they have gained by surviving hardships. As they get to know each other, they can reframe their respective upbringings as traumatic while finding ways to heal together. At the end of the story, their climactic confrontation completely upends that relationship and sets up new emotional challenges for the next book.