Out of My Dreams

Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses ableism.

Throughout the novel, Draper explores the challenge of understanding another person’s interiority, focusing on the barriers that prevent people from fully accessing each other’s inner lives. This theme is particularly evident Draper’s portrayal of Melody’s struggles to communicate her thoughts and emotions despite her disability, and Draper provides a positive outlook on these challenges when Melody enjoys multiple successes in bridging these communication gaps, spending quality time with new friends like Sky and Miss Gertie. By describing Melody’s journey and her interactions with others, Draper delves into the complexities of empathy, connection, and the human need to be understood.

Melody’s perspective is the primary lens through which Draper examines the theme of understanding others’ interiority. As a girl with cerebral palsy, Melody faces significant challenges in expressing the intricacies of her thoughts due to her limited physical ability to communicate. She laments the fact that people often see her as little more than the girl whose “mouth hangs open” or whose “arms fling out unexpectedly” (12), and she is frustrated by the knowledge that they fail to acknowledge the reality of how “supersmart” she really is. By employing first-person narration, Draper provides Melody with a powerful voice, allowing full access to Melody’s interiority and her rich inner world of thoughts, emotions, humor, and philosophical reflection. This narrative choice adds crucial nuance to the moments when others fail to recognize or understand Melody’s interior life, and this approach provides a detailed portrayal of Melody’s experiences of isolation and misunderstanding.

One notable example of this recurring failure to connect occurs when Melody calls 911 on Miss Gertie’s behalf, for rather than helping her, the first emergency dispatcher “bark[s]” at Melody, sharply chastising her by declaring that “it is a crime to interfere” with the work of the emergency department (22). In the midst of this emergency situation, the operator dismisses Melody and never attempts to truly listen to her. This scene highlights the societal barriers that people with disabilities often face, especially when their attempts to communicate are ignored or misunderstood. Overcome with deep frustration, Melody describes the feeling of “drowning” inside herself, and her words highlight her painful and suffocating experience of that deep divide. The imagery of drowning also conveys the suffocating and dehumanizing impact of being excluded from meaningful interaction and understanding.

As the story progresses, Melody encounters people who are more attuned to her needs and who take the time to engage with her on a deeper level. These interactions foster more intimate and fulfilling relationships, such as the one Melody develops with Sky. In one turning point, Sky feeds Melody ice cream “like she’d done it all her life” (93), and Melody is deeply touched by Sky’s ability to see beyond her disability, appreciate her sense of humor, and treat her with normalcy and respect. Throughout Melody’s time in London, Draper features a variety of connections and developing relationships to illustrate that understanding another’s interiority requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to look beyond surface-level assumptions. The culmination of Melody’s journey towards outwardly expressing her inner world is depicted in the novel’s final chapter when she presents a speech at the I.D.E.A. conference. Here, the narrative of the chapter becomes the text of Melody’s speech itself, and as Melody directly addresses the conference (and by extension, the reader), her thoughtful words allow her to share her ideas and authentically express her personality. This moment represents a significant breakthrough for Melody, who transitions from being misunderstood and marginalized to being heard and understood on her own terms.

Similarly, Draper explores the theme of interiority through Miss Gertie, who also struggles with isolation, though for different reasons. While Melody’s challenges are physical, Miss Gertie’s isolation stems from her grief, which leads her to withdraw from the activities and people that once defined her life. Her retreat into herself parallels Melody’s experiences with marginalization, highlighting how emotional pain can create barriers to connection. By showing her empathy for Miss Gertie, Melody begins to understand the woman’s experiences on a sensory level, especially as she travels to London and participates in the activities that bring Miss Gertie joy—such as watching theater performances, sharing favorite foods, and experiencing Miss Gertie’s beloved London parks. Through these acts of understanding, Melody helps Miss Gertie to reconnect with the world, and Miss Gertie’s newfound delight mirrors Melody’s own journey towards being fully seen and heard. Draper uses this relationship to highlight the reciprocal nature of empathy, for by understanding others, Melody and her friends also find paths towards expressing and validating their own interior lives.