Nineteen Minutes

A journal entry opens the section and precedes the chapter. The entry addresses how people pretend that tragedy cannot happen to them, especially in cases where people do not live in an inner city. Sterling was one such place where no one thought bad things might happen, yet they did. The writer says that people like to believe and pretend because it makes them feel safe.

The chapter opens with Diana and Jordan picking jurors for Peter’s trial. The narrative talks about what each attorney wants in a potential juror, how jurors are supposed to remain unbiased even though everyone now knows about the Sterling High shooting. Jordan, ultimately, wants someone who is open-minded in the sense that they can realize that “rules weren’t always what you thought they were” (337).

Alex and Patrick have been seeing each other for four months now. Alex still has mixed feelings about their relationship. For starters, she isn’t sure what to call it. She also doesn’t want to think it’s something more than what it is. Alex has promised to be there for Josie, and she tells herself that, despite being happy with Patrick, Josie comes first. Alex and Patrick oversleep one morning and Alex panics over Josie finding out about them. They decide to keep their relationship quiet for now; Patrick will sneak out of the house while Alex has breakfast with Josie. Josie, however, already knows about their relationship. She tells her mother that it’s up to her to be happy, and if Patrick makes her happy, she should accept it. The talk of love causes Josie to remember Matt, and the conversation sours, but Josie makes a joke and they begin talking again. When Patrick tries to sneak out, Alex calls him and tells him that Josie has made breakfast for all of them.

Selena sits on a playground, watching her child and others. She contemplates how children are taught to be certain things and act certain ways. She finds joy in her child, Sam, acting against stereotype and hopes this means he will be independent and assertive when he gets older. At one point, he falls, and though Selena prepares to rush over to him, he doesn’t cry. Selena thinks about how men are made to act a certain way, to refrain from emotion while girls are expected to express it. She wonders if men become the way they are because empathy is a muscle and they aren’t allowed to exercise it; therefore, it atrophies.

Josie has been lying to her mother about having a summer job tutoring kids for the state. Instead, she takes a bus and goes to Matt’s gravesite. She talks to him there and eats her lunch, then lies on the ground, remembering him. She thinks about ghosts and believes that people can also be haunted because they’re haunted by memories. When Josie prepares to leave, she notices that Patrick is at the gravesite. She gets angry at him and uses strong language, but Patrick can see that Josie is posturing. She doesn’t really mean the things she’s saying but doesn’t want anyone to know how hurt she is. As a detective, Patrick picks up on this and offers Josie a simple hug. He then offers to take her back home.

Lacy goes to a mall to buy Peter clothes for the trial—all new items. She picks up a lot of different things and doesn’t worry about the cost. She thinks back to better times and finds herself overcome with emotion. The cashier helps her and mistakes Lacy’s sadness for the sadness of a mother whose child is going away to college. Lacy momentarily thinks the two women share something, only to realize that the cashier’s daughter will return to her and Peter will not.

Lewis finally visits Peter in jail. Peter tells him that he hates him and that he shouldn’t have visited. Lewis tries to connect with his son and, through jokes, eventually does. Lewis imagines that he will do anything to keep the smile on Peter’s face that he briefly sees.

Diana and Patrick go over their evidence for the trial. When Drew arrives for his session with Diana, Patrick remains. Patrick is shocked at Drew’s demeanor. He’s heard from many accounts that Drew was one of the worst bullies, yet the kid arrives in nice clothes and seems humble. They both listen to Drew and realize that he’ll make a great sympathy witness: He will most likely never play sports again, and he was hoping for a sports scholarship. When Diana starts a mock court session with Drew, Peter is further annoyed that Drew starts lying. He says that he never bullied Peter. Even Diana knows Drew is lying. She gives Patrick a look and Patrick grabs Drew by the throat. He threatens to arrest him for perjury and make his life miserable if he messes the case up for them by lying. Diana starts questioning Drew again and, this time, he admits to bullying Peter.

When Alex cooks a bad meal, Josie’s emotions again send her into a confused rage and she runs to her room. Alex talks to her and assures her that she will not have to face anything alone. Alex and Patrick later talk, and he assures her that Josie is lucky for not being killed and that, like their relationship, good things can happen for no reason. Later that night, Josie can’t sleep and goes outside. She thinks about Peter’s trial the next day and wishes she could watch it. She is on the defense’s witness list, however, and so will be sequestered with the other witnesses.

Lacy gets ready for the trial the next morning and wonders if Lewis will attend. They haven’t spoken much since she followed him to the gravesite. She looks through Peter’s room and wonders about all their fates, and then Lewis walks in. He’s dressed and nearly ready, and he asks her to tie his tie. They then leave for the trial. Jordan, too, gets ready for the trial by having his favorite meal: cereal. When he recalls how Peter ate cereal while he was on his shooting rampage, however, he no longer has an appetite. At the jail, Peter is given the clothes his mother purchased for him with the tags still on. This way, Peter knows that he doesn’t have any of Joey’s old clothes. He also realizes that he hasn’t been given a bullet-proof vest like before. He wonders if his luck has changed.

Alex prepares herself for the trial. Though she’s not a judge on the case anymore, the trial will explain to her what Josie endured during the shooting. Alex goes downstairs and sees that Josie is ready and wants to go with her. As a witness who will not be called, Josie can technically stay home. Unlike before, when they had a similar argument, Alex relents and tells Josie she can go. Meanwhile, Jordan arrives at the courthouse and realizes how much of a circus it is,with throngs of reporters and angry citizens. People shout at him for his role in the trial, yet when they reach the steps, he finds that Selena has found the BVA, the Bullied Victims of America, who are standing in solidarity for Peter. When Jordan sees Peter, he realizes that Peter is scared, just as most of his clients are at this moment before a trial. He gives Peter bifocals so that he looks more innocent. Though Jordan doesn’t usually care or deal with his clients emotionally, when Peter begins to cry, he sits with him and tells him everything will be fine. Jordan hopes he is telling the truth.

Diana Leven begins the trial by recounting Peter’s actions on the fateful day of March 6, 2007, highlighting how Peter destroyed people’s lives in only nineteen minutes. She shows pictures of the crime scene, which she then contrasts with peaceful images of Sterling High. Jordan realizes that he’s going to have to deal with this play on emotion for three weeks. At one point, Peter gets sick, but Jordan tells him to swallow it and to not make a scene. After Diana makes her case for Peter being a calculated, cold-blooded killer, Jordan addresses the court and explains how Peter is just a scared kid who acted in self-defense. His argument is that Peter had asked for help from those who were supposed to give it to him but received no support. His last resort was to defend himself, and the shooting was a result of his grappling with what self-defense means. Given that he’s still a child, his brain thinks differently than an adult, who can determine right and wrong. For Peter, the shootings were justified.

Zoe Patterson is the first to take the stand. She was on the steps of the school when Peter shot her in the leg. Michael Beach testifies next. Before his testimony, he marveled at the fact that, in the witness room, there were no cliques being formed. The jocks and popular kids sat next to people like him, the unpopular. Michael had been in the gym with his friend Justin, who Peter killed. Michael watched Justin’s life fade from him. Peter had put a gun to his head but then reloaded and went after other students. Haley Weaver testifies next, but the court must take a recess because Haley is too distraught. Peter doesn’t like looking at Haley because it reminds him of his crime. While this is all happening, Lacy thinks back to a time when she told Peter that she hated him in a shouting match. She told herself then that she would never hate her son in such a way.

While the court is in recess, Josie runs into Drew and they go to the cafeteria. Their old friend, John, meets them. John is still paralyzed. He’s barely able to say his own name. Drew is angered at the state he’s in while Josie tries to speak gently to him. She then leaves, only to run into Patrick. She feels guilty as she’s technically on the “traitor’s” side as a witness for the defense, and now she’s even talking to a cop in front of Drew. She returns to the witness room and sees Lacy. She makes small talk with Lacy and tells her that she’s Peter’s friend.

Drew testifies next, and when it’s time for Jordan to cross-examine him, he realizes that he’s being offered up as a sacrifice. Jordan gets him to concede to bullying Peter, though Drew says it’s all a joke. Jordan then shows the court the email Drew sent to everyone. Coach Dusty Spears is next. He immediately doesn’t like Jordan. Jordan cross-examines him and reveals that there is no procedure in place for helping bullied students. Derek, Peter’s only friend, testifies next. He details how he saw Peter in the parking lot right before the shooting and Peter told him to go home because something was about to happen. Derek mentions how strange Peter seemed. He also talks about Peter’s game of killing the popular kids. When Derek goes back into the school, the bomb goes off and he is shepherded into the principal’s office. He sees that the screens all have the same message: “Ready or not…here I come.” This is the same message as was on Peter’s computer game.

Lacy and Josie talk, but when Lacy suggests that Josie write Peter, Josie looks away. Lacy realizes that Josie was just being kind by talking to her this entire time. Court is adjourned for the day and, when Lacy goes to the bathroom, she runs into Alex. They make small talk, but then Alex tells Lacy that she remembers details about Peter when he was younger. She tells Lacy that some part of a person lives on if people remember. This kindness comforts Lacy beyond words. Alex then takes Josie home and asks her about the email. Josie is mortified; she knew things like the email would come up. She tells her mother that, in the end, she didn’t want to be treated like Peter, so she stopped hanging out with him.

Peter returns to jail and, strangely, likes the quiet of his cell. He begins thinking of the trial and starts to cry. He hides his emotion so that others don’t see his weakness. Peter realizes that, despite everything he perpetrated, he’s still not part of the group. All the victims are now linked together in a group that he will never be a part of. In a sense, nothing has changed.