Lily and Dunkin

When Dunkin sees Tim and Dare in the hall, he thinks about how Tim could be a truly good friend to him. He realizes that Vasquez and the others aren’t really good friends; they wouldn’t listen or care about anything serious or personal. Dunkin heads over to Tim’s locker to say hi, but Vasquez and some other guys rush in first, slamming Tim’s locker before running off. Dunkin notes how mean Vasquez’s action was and how sad Tim looks, but he doesn’t go over.

As Vasquez throws grapes at Tim during lunch, Dunkin feels bad for him. He admires that Dare sticks up for her friend; he wishes that he could get up and go sit with them to show Vasquez what a jerk he is, but he doesn’t want to “throw away something as amazing as making the team” (172). As all the guys laugh, Dunkin doesn’t. However, “being silent doesn’t feel like enough” (172).

When he changes for basketball practice, Dunkin worries that he won’t be any good, especially because his medication makes him slower. Vasquez strokes Dunkin’s ego, claiming their team will be amazing, and Dunkin will probably be a basketball star someday. When they run out on the court, Dunkin feels like “anything and everything is possible” (174). 

Sitting with Sarah at breakfast, Lily marvels at her father’s change of heart and looks forward to starting the hormone blockers. When her dad mentions their expense, she apologizes, but he assures her that he loves her and she’s worth it, which prompts them to share a warm embrace. Lily feels “like the luckiest person on the planet” (177). 

Dunkin walks toward Lily’s locker, and she’s thrilled, wishing that he would be her friend at school. However, when Vasquez runs by and slams Lily’s locker, Lily watches as Dunkin lowers his head and moves away. Lily wonders why Dunkin is friends with the Neanderthals and is concerned that he will become a Neanderthal if he keeps hanging out with them. Dare points out a flyer for the eighth-grade dance, complaining that it’s far too early to be advertising. When Lily asks whether she’ll go, Dare isn’t sure. As Dare walks away, Lily still feels “pretty terrific. Even Neanderthals can’t make [her] feel bad” (179). 

As the coach gives the team a pep talk, Dunkin can’t believe how lucky he is. He knows his dad would be proud but pushes thoughts of his dad out of his mind. During layup drills, Dunkin is incredibly thirsty, which is a side effect of his medications, but he doesn’t want to be the only one going to get a drink. Watching the intensity of practice, Dunkin hopes he can keep up. 

Exhausted at the end of practice, Dunkin is convinced that if he weren’t taking his meds, he’d have more stamina. As the other guys head into the locker room, Coach Ochoa pulls Dunkin aside and tells him he’s only on the team because he’s tall. Coach reveals that he doesn’t plan to play Dunkin much; instead, he wants to use him as a scare tactic for the other teams, which upsets Dunkin. 

Resolved to start taking small steps toward being her true self, Lily paints her fingernails. While Dare congratulates her, Vasquez calls her a fag again and spits on her. Lily completes another small step by standing up for herself, giving Vasquez the finger as he walks away. As the day progresses and people notice her polish, Lily feels good that she took this step toward “being more comfortable in [her] own skin” (190). When Lily walks out the next day with a subtle shade of lipstick on, Dare is proud of her. When she gets to school, Vasquez slams her head into a locker and calls her fag. Lily’s loudest thought is that she’s a girl, not a fag. 

On Halloween morning, Lily takes her next small step, putting on eyeliner before school. When she says bye to her dad, he ruffles the newspaper to show he’s annoyed but doesn’t yell. Lily wants to hug her dad for not making her wipe it all off, recognizing that he has to take small steps, as well. Lily doesn’t encounter Vasquez until gym class, but in the locker room, Vasquez and friends harass Lily, asking what is under her gym shorts. Before they can take it any further, Lily shoves Vasquez and runs. During class, when the teacher leaves the room for a moment, Vasquez spikes a volleyball at Lily’s face. As she raises her hands to check the damage, someone makes a sarcastic comment about her nails. Others chime in, and the class starts laughing until Dare yells at them to stop. When the teacher returns, Lily gets up and challenges Vasquez across the net to play, but her teammate serves the ball into her back. 

Vasquez’s decision to have the team wear a group costume reminds Dunkin of his last good Halloween when he was eight. He recalls he and his mom and dad’s costumes and how they spent the evening laughing, chatting, and getting candy. Dunkin notices the flamingos in costumes around the neighborhood and wonders if other people can see them. When some kids kick one, he realizes he’s being silly and tries to reassure himself that his mind is fine.

Vasquez’s sister sews Dunkin, Vasquez, and three other guys into a t-shirt so they can go around as “Siamese quintuplet basketball players” (196). Dunkin is not thrilled about having to be so close to one another in the heat. He wonders what Tim is doing. Dunkin wishes he could leave and either get some coffee or just go to sleep.

Trick-or-treating is more fun than Dunkin expects. They coordinate their walk, and people love their costume. When everyone decides to head back to Vasquez’s, Dunkin sees Dare and barely recognizes Tim in his mermaid costume. He feels an urgent need to do something, so he trips the guy next to him, and they all fall. As they try to get up, Dunkin looks back to see that Dare and Tim walked past them safely. Dunkin is pleased that he did something for Tim, even if it was small. 

Sarah helps Lily complete her makeup for her mermaid costume. When Lily’s mom announces company, Lily is surprised to see someone with Dare. Lily wonders who this new girl is and whether she will be okay with the way Lily is dressed. 

Dare excitedly introduces Amy, but when Dare compliments Lily’s costume, Amy laughs, and Lily tries to figure out if she’s laughing with or at her. When Amy makes an uncomfortable joke about her sister being a boy, she apologizes profusely, and Dare puts her arm around Amy to appease her. Lily assures Amy that she’s fine and wonders what is going on. 

Downstairs, Lily’s dad calls her Timothy and signals the need for a private talk. In the other room, Lily tries to keep herself from crying as he says that she has gone too far. Lily wishes her dad understood how much the costume means to her, but Lily’s dad points out that when she goes out of the house dressed like that, people will try to hurt her, and all he wants is to keep her safe. When he tells Lily that he loves her, he calls her “son” (208), and Lily believes the sentiment to be nearly perfect. 

Dare and Amy trade cheesy jokes, and Lily feels a bit left out. Just as Lily feels that she shouldn’t have been worried about being harassed after her dad’s talk, she sees the Neanderthals and knows that she “shouldn’t be outside in a mermaid costume, no matter how good and right it feels” (211). Lily wishes the sight of Dunkin among them were comforting, but Lily braces for how terrible this encounter will likely be. As Dare and Lily exchange a look, the Neanderthals fall, and Dare yanks Lily past the heap. As they pass, Dunkin makes eye contact with Lily and smiles, and Lily knows that he helped her out. Back at Lily’s house, everyone is relieved that Lily is home safe. Lily is thankful her dad’s prediction didn’t come true, but she recognizes that Dunkin is the reason why. 

Lily decides she took a giant leap with the mermaid costume, and she wants to take a break from the small steps for a while. She goes to school with chipped polish, no makeup, and in jeans and t-shirts, but while Vasquez has stopped pushing her head into lockers, he still regularly calls her a fag. Lily has figured out a lot of creative ways to avoid him in gym class, which helps. Dare talks a lot about Amy, and Lily has started to really like her, so she doesn’t mind that she’s around a lot. Kids at school keep talking about the dance. The topic makes Lily nervous because she had an idea that could make the night of the dance incredibly important. Part of her can’t wait, and the other part is terrified. 

Lily gets her first dose of hormone blockers. She notices her mom’s discomfort as she pays for the incredibly expensive shot and feels bad. However, her mom puts her arm around Lily and suggests they go get ice cream to celebrate this major milestone. 

Dunkin has put in extra time practicing in preparation for his first game. He has also stopped taking his meds regularly. Just before the game, Dunkin is nervous, and wishing he could talk to his dad, decides they should visit him soon. As the other guys chant his name to get him psyched up, Dunkin is convinced he’s not good enough and that he’ll ruin everything for everyone.

However, when they get on the court, Dunkin gets caught up in the excitement of the fans and the atmosphere. Sitting on the bench, Dunkin watches as everyone on his team plays. As he awaits his turn, Dunkin’s nervousness abates, and he gets excited to play. However, the coach never puts him in, and Dunkin feels embarrassed that everyone saw him on the bench the whole time. Coach reminds Dunkin that he is their secret weapon, but Dunkin hears these comments as a subtle indication that he’s terrible and worthless. On the drive home, Dunkin decides that he should take less of his medication to help with his energy and improve his skills.