Jesse

Jesse is lonely and, like most 17-year-olds, wants to fit in. In the absence of a father figure, he struggles to relate to other boys and develop his own sense of masculinity. Raul provides one path to masculinity, an active and passionate masculinity that challenges society’s perceptions of Mexicans. His identity is intimately tied to his activism; he is a leader whose charisma brings him a band of followers. But Raul also embraces violence, which frightens Jesse. Jesse tries to fit in with Raul’s Chicano organization, but his personality is gentler than Raul’s. Around Raul and his friends, Jesse becomes a version of himself that is inauthentic.

Jesse also tries to fit in with his high school friend Luis, whose toxic masculinity centers on drinking, partying, and hooking up with girls. Luis’s comfort with girls is a foil to Jesse’s shyness. Jesse is uncomfortable with Luis drinking underage and partying, his strict adherence to what is right making it difficult for them to connect. But when Luis is attacked by Ron, Jesse intervenes, reclaiming his shame in not having stood up for himself before (in Chapter 11). Even though the pair lose the fight, Jesse feels thrilled at having reclaimed his masculinity. Later, Luis seeks Jesse’s help with college admissions, framing Jesse as a role model. Jesse has been seeking male friends and struggling to fit in throughout the novel, but Luis’s call for help highlights that he has been a valuable friend all along.

Another example of Jesse’s desire to fit in is his resentment of Abel and Leslie becoming closer through double dating. Not only does Jesse have to “share” Abel and Leslie with their respective girlfriends, but he also has to let go of being part of their group all the time. He starts to feel like he’s missing out on a social life, but Gary Soto notes that this is a product of his youth. At 17, Jesse lacks some of Abel and Leslie’s experiences, but he will get his turn one day. He learns to mitigate his resentment and understand that not being included in everything doesn’t mean he's excluded or uncared for. Rather, it means he must wait for his own life to unfold. This message is an important trope in young adult fiction. Young adults are aware of what they want from their lives, but they don’t always have the means to obtain their dreams right away. This is because some experiences require age. In feeling left out and desiring his own place in the world, Jesse speaks to a common, relatable issue for Soto’s young readers.

While the threat of Jesse’s draft into the Vietnam War looms over him, for Abel, this threat is more immediate. Therefore, Abel’s desire to date and spend time with friends are not slights on Jesse but rather his own need to live his life to the fullest before being drafted. The casualties of the Vietnam War numbered nearly 60,000 Americans, emphasizing its deadly failure. Due to these casualties, a lack of popular support for the war, and no end in sight, the United States enforced a draft that forced young American men to participate or face arrest. Many men avoided the draft by going into hiding or moving to another country. For young American men at the time, the Vietnam War was a threat to their lives and, if they survived, to their sanity. Between 1964 and 1973, the U.S. drafted over 2 million men, an enormous number that emphasizes how few wanted to join the military at the time, and how many were needed for the constant onslaught of war.

The novel ends with a tone of resignation that is characteristic of this time period in American history. Abel cannot avoid the draft, which comes with the threat of losing his life to a war he doesn’t believe in. Jesse is left on his own and forced to deal with his new socioeconomic situation (i.e., moving into the shed behind the apartment). While he maintains hope for his future thanks to his faith, Soto leaves the novel open-ended. The reader does not find out what happens to Jesse or Abel, as not all conflicts have an easy solution—a lesson Jesse learns over and over again. Jesse, and by extension the reader, must let go of their expectations for the future. He can only continue to work hard and stay on track with his own life while his brother faces a major threat to his life and wellbeing. Soto’s ending emphasizes the unpredictability of life, but it also maintains the possibility of hope when individuals are resilient.