It's Not Summer Without You

Belly explains that her father’s appearances at the summer house were rare throughout her childhood, stopping altogether when her parents divorced.

The narrative shifts back to a summer when he was visiting. The parents are heading to a fancy dinner, and when Belly goes upstairs to help Susannah and her mother get ready, Susannah does Belly’s makeup despite Laurel’s protestations.

Susannah asks Belly to help her pick out her jewelry, and Belly goes right for her opal earrings and ring. Though they don’t go with Susannah’s outfit, Susannah proclaims her choice perfect. Laurel comments that the jewelry does not match, and Belly asks her mother, “What do you know about style?” (180), making them all laugh.

Belly’s father tells her that her makeup looks very mature, and she hugs him, thinking that there is “no better compliment than being called mature” (181). He promises that if she is awake when they get home they will stargaze together. Belly watches him whisper something to Laurel on their way out the door that makes her laugh, and Belly recalls this as one of the last times her parents were happy.

The narrative shifts to the present day, with Belly remembering that even in the midst of their divorce, her parents never yelled at each other or fought—unlike Taylor’s parents. When Taylor’s parents divorced, Belly asked her if she felt relief, and Taylor said no, because even though her parents fought, they were still a family, unlike Belly’s parents: “Your parents never even fought” (182). Considering her parents’ relationship, Belly wonders if they were ever really in love at all. She doesn’t want to make the same mistakes, vowing she wants a love that “[burns] forever” (182)—like how she feels for Conrad. 

Downstairs, Belly finds Jeremiah and Conrad watching television, as if their fight never happened. She wonders if Jeremiah is still angry with her, but upon seeing her he smiles, indicating that he forgives her. Announcing that they are having a party and that some locals will be over soon with a keg, he pours tequila for all three of them.

Belly goes to Susannah’s home-video collection and puts one on. The film shows a Fourth of July from years before. Everyone is quiet when Susannah appears onscreen, and Conrad tries to get them to turn it off, but even he laughs when Belly appears, her belly sticking out over her shorts, running away from Jeremiah and Steven, who chase her with a clump of seaweed.

Conrad gets them all a shot of tequila and then goes to the bathroom. While he is out of the room, Jeremiah asks Belly to play Truth or Dare and dares her to kiss him, claiming that he has “learned a lot since the last time” (188)—a reference to their first kiss during a childhood game of Truth or Dare. Belly kisses him on the cheek, and Jeremiah exclaims that that was not how they kissed the first time. Conrad interrupts, asking Jeremiah, “What about your girlfriend?” and Belly is surprised (188), having never heard of this relationship. Jeremiah explains that they broke up, and Belly, the alcohol giving her courage, asks if he loves her. Jeremiah says no.

Belly takes control of the game, asking Conrad to join. Conrad groans but picks “truth,” and Belly thinks about all the things she wants to ask him. Knowing that she cannot ask him what is really on her mind, she asks if he ever hooked up with a girl, Angie, he liked one summer. Conrad says no, that he tried and she turned him down because of her religious beliefs, making them all laugh. Conrad then tries to ask Belly a question, and even though she desperately wants to know what he would ask, because Jeremy is there she invents a rule that she can’t be next.

Belly stands up and proposes another toast, this time to “everybody that isn’t here tonight. To my mom, and to Steven, and to Susannah most of all” (191). They all toast, and then Belly, realizing people will be here soon, rushes upstairs to change.

Upstairs, she remembers she is supposed to be back home for Taylor’s boat party. She calls Taylor and apologizes, telling her that she is still in Cousins and that they are having a party. Taylor explains that the boat party has been canceled anyway, and suggests that if she leaves now she can make it to Cousins for their party. Belly hesitates, not wanting Taylor to come, and Taylor picks up on this. She calls Belly selfish, accusing, “You keep your summer house and your summer boys to yourself and you don’t want to share anything with me” (195). She says this is the one summer they get to spend together, and Belly has not enjoyed any of it.

Belly tells Taylor to shut up, making her even angrier; Taylor reminds Belly how much she supported her when she was broken up about Conrad. She tells Belly that she is no fun anymore, to which Belly replies, “Having someone you love die can do that” (196). Taylor tells Belly not to blame her sadness only on Susannah’s death, arguing that she is still upset over Conrad and that she should “get over it,” adding, “He doesn’t like you. Maybe he never did” (196). This goes too far for Belly, and she hangs up on Taylor. She begins to cry and has to redo her makeup before putting Conrad’s necklace on under her shirt and going back downstairs.

Thinking of how good Susannah always was as a hostess, Belly tries to fill that role at the party, welcoming guests and gently reminding people to keep their feet off the furniture. She spots Nicole, a girl Conrad had a fling with last summer. Seeing her at the same time, Conrad grabs Belly by the hand and suggests they get out of there. Elated to be holding Conrad’s hand, Belly willingly follows him, but Jeremiah stops them both, calling them over to where he and Nicole are standing.

They awkwardly greet one another, and Belly, still playing hostess, clinks her cup against Nicole’s. Belly turns on some music and tries to get Jeremiah to dance with her, and then suggests that they go swimming in the ocean. Conrad intervenes and says no, citing how drunk Belly is, and she protests. Belly runs for the beach and stops at the waterline. Conrad follows her, and Belly tries to goad Conrad into stopping her from swimming. Conrad gives in and picks her up, but drops her on the sand when she yells at him to let her go. Belly calls Conrad a jerk, and he begins to leave. Belly chases after him and finally apologizes for how she treated him at Susannah’s funeral. Conrad says it is fine and that he forgives her, telling her to stop crying.

As they stand face-to-face Belly feels that they might kiss, but Conrad turns around and goes back inside. Upset, Belly goes upstairs to her room and lies down. The weight of everything Belly has lost bears down on her: “It was devastating, all of it—Susannah gone, the thought of this house not being ours anymore, me giving Conrad the chance to reject me one more time” (204). The room begins to spin and, drunk, Belly calls her mother, telling her that Mr. Fisher is going to sell the house and begging her to come to Cousins to fix things.

When the party clears, Conrad and Jeremiah survey the mess. Angered by the mess as well as by how upset Belly looked when she and Conrad came back from the beach, Jeremiah asks what happened between them. Conrad says nothing, and Jeremiah observes how much his brother has changed since Susannah’s death: “Conrad didn’t give two shits about anything or anyone anymore. I wondered if that included Belly” (207). Jeremiah decides he needs to know how his brother feels about Belly, so he asks Conrad if he still likes her—something the two of them have never spoken about.

Jeremiah waits for Conrad’s answer, thinking that if his brother says yes, he will give up his hopes of being with Belly. Conrad “[doesn’t] blink, [doesn’t] even hesitate” before saying “no” (208). Yet Jeremiah is more convinced than ever that Conrad has feelings for Belly and just refuses to admit it, though he feels Conrad will never be the kind of guy Belly needs. He is angry but also hopeful, thinking, “[N]ow that Conrad wasn’t standing in the way, she’d see me there too” (208).

Belly wakes up to her mother in her room, yelling at her to get up and be ready to leave in five minutes. Confused, Belly suddenly remembers drunkenly calling her mother the night before. Belly refuses to leave, insisting they need to stay and help the boys save the house, but Laurel, furious, accuses Belly of lying to her and sneaking out to “come here and get drunk and fool around with [her] boyfriend” (211). This angers Belly, and she and Laurel continue to fight until Belly tells her mother, “I wish Susannah was my mother and not you [...] Susannah will never forgive you for this, you know. For losing her house. For letting down her boys” (212-13). At this, Laurel, usually so calm and collected that Belly cannot discern her true feelings, hits Belly across the face. Belly bursts into tears and runs outside, pushing past Jeremiah and Conrad, who are up and cleaning the mess from the party.

Jeremiah finds Belly on the beach and tells her that she should just leave with her mom, apologizing for asking Belly to come with him in the first place. They sit in silence until Jeremiah offers Belly his hand, leading her back inside. Laurel goes to Belly immediately, apologizing for being absent since Susannah’s death and for hitting her. Belly apologizes for lying but explains that she needed to help the boys. Laurel tells her to get ready to leave before traffic hits, but Belly insists that they have to stay to help save the house. Laurel warns that she cannot stop Mr. Fisher from doing what he wants, but then says she will call him.

The narrative shifts back to a few summers ago, when Belly had a summer cold and his mother asked Jeremiah to stay inside and hang out with her instead of going swimming with a friend. Begrudgingly, Jeremiah agrees, then tries to convince Belly he is there because he wants to be and not because his mother forced him.

Belly does not believe him, but they spend the afternoon together anyway. Jeremiah teaches Belly to play poker, annoyed that Belly brings up how good Conrad is at poker and how he never gets sick. Despite this, they play the game throughout the afternoon, and a few days later when Jeremiah catches Belly’s cold, she stays inside to play with him.

The narrative shifts back to the present. Jeremiah runs into Belly on the stairs and asks her what she and Laurel spoke about, and Belly reveals that Laurel is calling his dad. Laurel, taking charge, asks Jeremiah to get breakfast supplies, because Mr. Fisher is coming over to talk. Jeremiah hugs Laurel, thanking her for doing this. Laurel reprimands Jeremiah for letting Belly drink the night before, and he promises her that he won’t let it happen again. 

Belly finds Conrad and Laurel preparing breakfast. Laurel announces that Mr. Fisher is coming, and Belly reacts giddily, sure Laurel will convince him not to sell. Conrad thanks Belly for calling Laurel the night before. Jeremiah returns from a second trip to the store, and Belly’s drunken actions from the night before come rushing back. She is embarrassed, but feels better when Jeremiah squeezes her hand and thanks her too.

When Mr. Fisher arrives, they sit down for breakfast together. He thanks Laurel for backing him up with the kids, but Laurel declares she is there to support “Beck’s boys” and save the house (230). She tells him that he can’t sell, since Beck would want her boys to have the house. Mr. Fisher tries to leave, telling Laurel she has no place to talk to him about Susannah and the fate of the house, but Laurel instructs him to sit, and he obeys. She excuses the kids, and they eavesdrop on the rest of the conversation from the stairs.

Laurel warns Mr. Fisher she will do “everything in [her] power to keep this house for Beck's boys” (232) and reminds him about his abhorrent behavior toward Susannah before her death. She asks him to prove her wrong, and ultimately Mr. Fisher agrees to give the house to the boys, as Susannah intended.

Laurel calls the kids back to the kitchen, and Mr. Fisher proposes a deal to Conrad: The boys can have the house if Conrad returns to school the next day to finish—and pass—his exams. Jeremiah says he will stay to help Conrad study, and Laurel even agrees to let Belly stay and help as well. With this agreement in place, Mr. Fisher leaves.

Laurel prepares to leave, and Conrad asks if she will come back to the Cousins Beach house. Laurel promises to return at the end of summer to help close the house up for winter. When she reaches out to touch Conrad’s cheek, Belly is reminded of how deeply her mother and Conrad connect and understand each other; as a child, Conrad used to walk around looking for “my Laura” (237), collecting seashells and crabs for Laurel.

The narrative shifts back to the previous spring, when Laurel showed up on a random Tuesday, before Susannah died, to help Jeremiah. Jeremiah is running late to pick up his girlfriend, Mara, for their senior banquet, and Laurel tells him to go, that she will take care of Susannah while he is out.

Jeremiah is late anyway, and Mara refuses to speak to him the whole night. As he drives her home afterward, Mara asks if he wants to stay together next year when they go to college. Jeremiah admits that he does not, and they break up. Jeremiah is relieved, feeling that the only “room in [his] head for was [his] mom” (242). Back home he finds Laurel and Susannah still up, playing cards and listening to music. Laurel stays and helps for the rest of the week, and Jeremiah is grateful to have an adult around.