Inventing Elliot

Elliot has $192.98, “untouchable” money, earned from his old paper route, which he spends on a secondhand school uniform and a sharp, new, shaved haircut. Creating a new persona is worth the expense him. Elliot’s mom unenthusiastically tells him that if that’s the way he wants to “waste” his money, it’s up to him. Elliot’s mother is tired, but she shares with him that she has got a second job at a retirement home to go with her other cleaning job at the paper mill. She tries to be reassuring when Elliot expresses his concern about her overworking and unconvincingly says “It’s going to be good here” (8). Elliot looks at his father, uncommunicative and vacant, and tries in vain to see something positive. When Elliot is in bed, his mom goes into his room and explains again that they need to be patient with his father. Elliot wishes that life was the way it used to be and cannot help but relive the moment it all changed.

The company that Elliot’s father was creating, making, and selling specialized packaging for fragile goods, started to take up more of his time. Even though the company did not take off as expected, Elliot’s life was still good—the three of them a tight, happy family. One day, though, Elliot’s father did not come home; instead, the police showed up and explained to Elliot’s mother that his father had been robbed and assaulted in the parking lot and had been left for dead. He had a fractured skull and other injuries, and although three years of rehabilitation had healed his physical wounds, his father had not recovered mentally.

Elliot snaps out of his memories and hears his mother still talking about giving his father more time. Once his mother has gone to bed, Elliot remembers what his father used to tell him: If you seriously set your mind to something you can achieve just about anything. Elliot resents his father for not trying harder to get better, for just sitting with blank eyes staring at the television. For a moment, he wishes that this father would die and the old father he remembers would walk in through the door. These intrusive thoughts fill Elliot with guilt, which combines with rising anxiety as he remembers that school starts in less than a week.

Holminster High is completely different from Elliot’s old school. There is no graffiti; instead, there are neat lawns and tasteful, expensive looking buildings. Elliot’s goal is to blend in and avoid being noticed. Elliot used to like school—he had a group of friends and excelled in English class—but when he was 12, after his father’s attack, he had to move to a more affordable school where he was bullied. Elliot thinks about the bullying, how it started innocuously enough with small kicks and pinches but soon escalated into full-blown, organized attacks ordered by Kevin Cunningham, the “king of the seventh and eighth grades” (18). Elliot still does not know why he was targeted and muses that it could have been because he is small and skinny, or wears secondhand clothes, or simply that “he existed” (18).

After one particularly brutal fight, Elliot’s mother found his bloodied clothes and saw his injuries. She telephoned the school and told the principle and vice principle to sort it out. Kevin got a warning and Elliot’s life became a living hell. He endured endless verbal, physical, and psychological attacks, never defending himself because he believed that it would make it worse. The teachers did nothing, and when he moved to the high school the attacks moved with him. He became good at hiding any evidence, so his mother was oblivious. She had enough to worry about looking after his father, so Elliot kept reassuring her that he was fine. Elliot remembers his mother trying to retain some sense of normalcy and family, all the while struggling to keep it together: holding down two jobs, looking for a new place, and caring for his father.

The bell for first-period snaps Elliot out of his memories. He realizes that he has not spoken to anyone and starts to panic—not being noticed can be a red flag. He reassures himself by thinking “At least I haven’t been noticed for the wrong reason” (24).