Home of the Brave

Despite the cold and wind, Kek takes great enjoyment in working on Lou’s farm because “[his] mind doesn’t travel where it shouldn’t go” (135). The work keeps him busy and yet he talks to Gol about his father’s herd and the lands they would graze. He even sings his father’s songs to the cow and tries to “listen for an echo of his [father’s] voice in [Kek’s own]” (137). The cow nuzzles Kek and listens as he hugs her, sings to her, and revels in her protection.

Dave drives Ganwar and Kek on a Saturday: he is dropping off Kek at the farm and taking Ganwar to a fast food restaurant to fill out employment paperwork. Kek asks if he can show Ganwar the cow and farm, and surprisingly, Ganwar says he wants to go. On the farm, Ganwar is critical of what he sees: both the condition of the farm and the condition of the cow. But Gol wins Ganwar over with her “old eyes, tired but patient” (139). Ganwar leans his head against the cow’s neck and tells Kek that he is lucky to have this job, although he notes that it was Kek’s determination that got him here. Kek suddenly gets an idea, and asks Ganwar to wait with Gol as he heads up to Lou’s house.

Dave and Lou come out to the barn with Kek, who is brimming with excitement. Kek tells Ganwar that he has asked if Ganwar can work with him on the farm. Ganwar does not react. Lou explains that she didn’t have enough to pay both of them, so they would need to split that pay she had offered to Kek.

Ganwar begins to resist; he argues that he won’t take Lou’s charity, but Kek points out that he has taken Ganwar’s charity by living in his home. Ganwar argues that he knows nothing about farming, to which Kek replies that he doesn’t, either. Finally, Ganwar shows his missing hand to Lou and she replies, “Guess you’ll have to use the other one” (143), a response that makes everyone smile. Ganwar agrees to take the job and begins to work right there and then. Kek, in his happiness, realizes that the world around him is not like his father’s great herd was, but in this moment, “we are where we belong in the world” (145).

Kek’s ESL class takes a field trip to the zoo, another idiom that he struggles to understand as there is no field and it’s not a lengthy trip like the one he made to America. At the zoo, Kek’s classmates complain about having to wait in line, but he remembers waiting in line for nine hours at the refugee camp to get “a handful of corn” (146). When they get into the zoo, the children look for animals from their home countries; Kek sees gazelles and wonders how they got to this cold land. In the petting zoo, Kek notices pigs, goats, and chickens, but no cows. He watches other classes of children laughing at the pigs rolling in the mud and thinks of how miraculous America is, as a country that has “so many tribes from all over the world” (147). He wonders what his father and brother would say about such a sight. He wonders what his mother would think of it, too. Every step Kek takes he carries his family with him, “unseen as wind” (149).

Kek struggles with understanding why he has made it to America when so many others did not. He has a home with a warm bed, a classroom to go to every day, and a job to work in the afternoon. He wonders why he should have these luxuries when his “brother and father sleep in bloodied earth” (150). Kek feels guilty to have these amenities and knows he should refuse them; he also knows that he will not let them go.

In homeroom, Kek is bullied by another kid who is not from his ESL class. The boy has left a crude picture of a dead body and its bare bones. Kek had been hoping that the paper was a note from a homeroom friend; instead, he is mocked by the boy who says, “Hungry, Kenya?” (152). Kek notes that the boy’s “voice has knives in it” (153). Kek responds politely to the boy, pointing out that he is not from Kenya. The boy throws a half-eaten apple toward Kek and it falls on the floor. Kek, who doesn’t want to see food wasted, picks it up and throws it back to the boy, striking him in the nose. This action earns Kek detention, a concept he doesn’t understand, but since he is the only one in class to earn a detention slip, he thinks it’s an honor to have been selected for it.

Hannah invites Kek to accompany her to the grocery store, an experience that completely overwhelms Kek. He can’t get over the rows and rows of food, the bright lights, the “easy hope” (156). Kek looks at the fresh, green vegetables and begins to cry. Hannah tells Kek it’s okay and they leave the Safeway to sit outside and wait for the next bus to arrive.

On the bus home, Kek tells Hannah about a tragedy he witnessed in the refugee camp. A woman was desperately trying to get her baby to eat and drink, but the baby was dying. Kek remembers that “[f]lies teased her eyes and her arms hung like broken sticks” (158). The baby’s mother was around Kek’s age, and she begged her child day and night to eat and drink, but the baby refused. When the baby died, the mother covered her in a feed sack and wondered aloud why her child wouldn’t eat. The story leaves Hannah speechless; this time, “she’s the one who cannot find any words” (159).

Kek’s teachers take his class to the school library twice a week. On this visit, Kek feels similarly to how he did at the grocery store. He thinks about how much his mother had wanted to learn to read and to own a book, “to open one of these magical presents and see what’s inside” (160).

Ms. Hernandez asks Kek to find a book about cows and locate a picture that looks like Gol, but Kek says he is not in the mood today. He tells his teacher that there are so many books, and so few where he comes from. Ms. Hernandez says she understands and shares with Kek how she felt the first time she went shopping at a mall and ended up hiding in the corner of a store because she was so overwhelmed.

Kek then tells her about the grocery store and how he started to cry. Ms. Hernandez knows how he feels: “When you had almost nothing. And when you know that many people still have so little” (162). She tells Kek it is a big gift to receive, and she encourages him to talk about his family. Kek begins to talk to her about his father.

After a few weeks, Kek has saved up money from his job, although he has a hard time believing that the green pieces of paper represent funds. In the Sudan, “you could know a person’s worth by counting his cattle” (164). Hannah goes with Kek to the mall and promises that he won’t get upset this time. He wants to buy new dishes for his aunt. Kek is amazed by the people and lights and stores, but is too afraid of the escalators to use them. Hannah takes him to the elevator, instead, an experience that leaves him saying, “I think I left my stomach downstairs” (166).

Hannah helps Kek pick out a set of white dishes that he can afford and he carries them carefully through the store. As they head to the register to pay, Kek notices the varieties of chocolate candy and sparkling red hearts. Hannah tells him that it is almost Valentine’s Day, a holiday where “you give stuff to people you like” (167). She mentions that it is also her birthday, then asks Kek about his birth date. He explains that birthdays in the Sudan are not celebrated like they are in America, something that confuses Hannah. Kek then declares that he has to buy her a birthday gift with whatever money he has left because “it’s my duty as your friend” (168). Hannah points out a small chocolate candy heart that she likes.

As he pays for his items, Kek is bursting with pride. He tells the cashier that he earned his money taking care of Gol and is once again amazed at how little value Americans place in cows. One can have other pets, but “you will have lived just half a life if you never love a cow” (170).

Outside of their apartment complex, Kek gives Hannah the chocolate candy. Three boys walk by and see Hannah take the gift, then glare at the two children. One of them tells Kek to leave the white girl alone and not to put his hands on her. Afraid of a fight, Hannah grabs Kek and brings him into her apartment. He resents this action as he thinks he can defend himself, but Hannah doesn’t want to see him hurt.

Depressed, Kek heads to his aunt’s apartment to give her the dishes. She hugs him and tells him that he is a fine boy. Kek is glad his aunt is happy but still angry about the incident with the three boys outside. He joins Ganwar on the couch and watches television to keep his mind off his troubles.

On weekends and some days during the week, Ganwar and Kek work at Lou’s farm. Ganwar has become calmer, even sharing jokes with Kek. One day, they are working on repairing a rotted gate in the field when Kek sees the six scars across Ganwar’s head and blurts out, “I will never have the gaar” (175). Ganwar asks him why he would want such scars when they mean nothing here in America. Kek worries that he will not know when he is a man if he never goes through the coming-of-age ritual. Kek tells Ganwar that Ganwar proved his bravery by undergoing the ceremony, while Kek will never be brave.

Ganwar points out the many instances where Kek had proven his bravery: he survived the refugee camp and the trip to America alone. He tells Kek that “[i]t doesn’t take a knife in the hand of a village elder for you to prove yourself” (176). Kek disagrees and swings his hammer more forcefully until he has blisters.

Spring slowly begins to arrive, and Lou injures her leg by slipping in the barn. She tells Ganwar and Kek that she can’t keep up the farm much longer. Lou has decided to sell the farm and move elsewhere. Ganwar is not surprised, but Kek is worried about Gol. Lou admits that since the land will be used to build a strip mall, there will be no use for Gol; no one will want to take her.

In a sudden burst of anger, Kek sends his chair falling the floor and yells “I hate it here! […] I want to go home!” (180). He runs out of the house to the bus stop, angry at Lou for selling the farm and angry at Ganwar for not being angry enough about these circumstances.

Kek stops going to work at the farm. Ganwar continues to go there, but doesn’t talk about it to Kek. Lou calls the apartment to speak with Kek, but he refuses to talk to her. At school, Kek nearly cries when Mr. Franklin calls him “Cowboy,” as the name doesn’t apply to him anymore. Hannah tells Kek that he is being a “stubborn moron boy” (183) and encourages his to go back to the farm because it could be months before it is sold.

Kek explains to her that even if he goes back, he knows that it will all end eventually. He will no longer see Lou or Gol and the farm will disappear. He asks Hannah if she can understand that feeling, and he wonders if she is thinking about her mom when she says that she can.

As the end of the school year arrives, Kek thinks about how happy Gol must be to see the grass growing in the field. Ganwar tells him that Lou won’t be leaving until the end of the summer, but Kek refuses to listen.

Ms. Hernandez and Mr. Franklin speak with the class on the last day of school. Overcome with emotion, Ms. Hernandez gets teary-eyed as she tells the children how proud she is of their accomplishments and how much they will add to the country. Mr. Franklin then reveals a large cake he has baked in the mold of the Statue of Liberty. The class notes that there is also a cow on the cake; Mr. Franklin tells the class that he added Gol to the cake because he thought it was appropriate. Kek feels guilty, as he hasn’t told anyone at school that soon Gol and the farm will be gone. Before they eat the cake, Ms. Hernandez reads the words written on it, the words from the base of the Statue of Liberty. Then the class digs in and eats the whole cake, except for the image of Gol.

Kek welcomes the summer as a definite change from the cold, windy winter. Ganwar tells him that the farm will be sold by the end of summer, but that Lou is allowed to stay there until the fall. He tells Kek that Lou and Gol miss him; Kek says he misses them as well, but he is not coming back to work.

Hannah takes Kek on summer adventures to keep his mind off the farm. One day, they go to the public library where Kek gets a library card and is amazed that he, a stranger, is trusted to take out books to read. They find a book on Africa, and Kek grows sad looking at the pictures, especially one of a woman who reminds him of his mother. He confesses to Hannah that he is starting to forget what his mother’s face looks like. Hannah says she feels the same about her own mother. Kek encourages Hannah to write a letter to her mother, something he cannot do for his own. Skeptical at first, Hannah begins to write and then fills up page after page. Then, they go to mail the letter.

One day, Dave arrives at the apartment while Hannah is teaching Kek how to skateboard. Dave tells Kek that he knows about the situation with the farm, and he is sorry for what has happened. But the news Dave is really there to share is that there is no sign of his mother in the two refugee camps that have been searched. Kek reaches in his pocket and feels the blue and yellow fabric from his mother’s dress, and even though Dave and Hannah ask him to stay positive, Kek feels that “a man knows when he’s defeated” (197).

Kek dreams about the attack on the camp. He remembers awakening to the sound of gunfire, of his mother calmly taking his hand to lead him to safety. As they try to run, her dress catches on a bush and she falls to the ground, injuring her leg. She screams at Kek to run, but he doesn’t want to leave her. As he runs away, the piece of her blue-and-yellow dress comes off in his hand. He runs to the trees and hides with other hiding children as “the men come with their knives and their guns and their mysterious hate” (199). He waits with the children, holding one child and covering her mouth when she tries to cry. The next morning, there is silence and blood and death, and Kek’s mother is nowhere to be found.

Kek wakes up to find Ganwar there to comfort him. Ganwar tells him that he was moaning in his sleep and having a bad dream. Kek says he dreamed of the attack, and Ganwar says he still has that dream once in a while. Kek argues that it is not the same: Ganwar didn’t abandon his mother. Kek calls himself a coward for leaving his mother, even though Ganwar reminds him that they all ran, and “[i]t’s the only reason why we’re here” (202). He reminds Kek that a brave man cannot stop a bullet, that they all did what they needed to do.

Ganwar sits on the couch next to Kek and puts his arm around his cousin. Kek begins to cry, and shortly after, Ganwar does, too.

After Ganwar has fallen asleep, Kek decides to run away. He doesn’t feel that he can fit in, he can’t master the language, and he wants to go back home to a place he knows he belongs. He quietly takes the remaining money from the farm job and thinks about how he can travel anywhere with this money, perhaps even to Washington, to ask the President to help him find his mother.

Kek leaves half of his money for Ganwar, then draws a heart on a sheet of paper with his name in the middle of it. Then he leaves the apartment.

Kek gets on the first bus that arrives, the bus that goes past Lou’s farm. The driver tells Kek that the bus route ends at the airport, and Kek wonders if he has enough money to get on the plane and go back home to find his mother, as “[t]hat is what a good son would do” (207). While the bus heads toward the airport, Kek thinks about his home, about the attack, and about how ugly America can be, with its large buildings that block out the sky.

As the bus nears Lou’s farm, Kek feels badly about yelling at her and never having said goodbye. He knows how important goodbyes are from his experience of having his world upended. He thinks of his mother and brother, and his father singing a song, and then he sees the farm. Suddenly, he sees Gol standing alone in the field, and he asks the bus driver to stop.

Gol slowly meanders over to Kek when she sees him; Kek puts his head on her neck in an embrace. Kek thinks that Gol should be in the barn at night, not wandering around in the field. She nudges him for an ear scratch, and he obliges while tears roll down his cheeks. Suddenly, a door slams and Kek sees Lou heading out toward the field to put Gol away. He doesn’t want her to see him, so he climbs up the nearest tree. Gol watches him climb and “stares at [Kek] like a motherless puppy” (211). Kek whispers at her to go away, but she remains under the tree watching him.

Kek hears another bus stop across from the farm and recognizes Ganwar as he heads to the field. He walks up to Gol, sees her staring up in the tree, then laughs. Ganwar tells Kek that he woke up as Kek left the apartment, and watched Kek take a bus, so he followed on the next one. He then climbs up the tree to sit next to Kek.

Ganwar asks Kek if he is running away, and Kek says he is going to find his mother as this is what he should do as a good son. But Ganwar asks Kek what would happen if his mother was already in America looking for him. Exhausted, Kek tells his cousin that he is tired of living in such a new place, that things are too hard and he wants back everything that he lost. Kek feels guilty for saying that when he sees Ganwar rub the spot where his missing hand used to be.

Suddenly, Ganwar says that maybe he will run away with Kek. After all, America will never be the right place for him, either. Kek looks at his cousin and thinks of how he does the same work Kek does, but with only one hand. He then asks his cousin how he is supposed to manage on by himself if his mother is truly gone. Ganwar tells him, “you already are” (216).

Lou comes out into the field to find the cousins up the tree. The boys climb down and Gol nudges Kek for another ear scratch. Kek looks at Lou and apologizes for yelling at her. Lou smiles and asks both cousins to help her out. They bring Gol into the barn and as they toss hay into Gol’s stall, Lou asks how they ended up in the tree. Kek admits that he is running away. Lou asks if he would like a chocolate cookie before he leaves, and Kek follows Lou and Ganwar into the house.

Lou gives the cousins milk and cookies, and tells Kek that running away is a big job. Kek sees a picture on top of Lou’s refrigerator of a young Lou and her husband. He thinks of how the farm must have looked back then, when it was new and fresh and full of hope. Behind the couple is the same tree that the cousins had recently climbed. Kek thinks about how hard it must be for Lou to leave her home and move someplace new, but he is glad to see that she has some hope in her heart for her new home with her sister in Los Angeles.

After a few cookies and milk, Kek admits that it would be better to stay here and wait for his mother. He then asks to come back to work, and Lou says that Gol will be happy. Then, Kek suddenly has an idea about Gol’s future.