Home Is Not a Country

Not a real person for most of the novel, Yasmeen first exists as Nima’s alternate self, who she imagines she would have been if the past were different. In Nima’s estimation, Yasmeen is perfect in every way—beautiful, social, well-spoken, loved. In this manifestation, Yasmeen represents all the what-ifs a person possesses about their own identity: if life had been different, who could that person have been? For Nima, Yasmeen is all the things she is not. Yasmeen manifests as a jinni in the spirit world.

As the girls traverse the past together, Yasmeen’s true character is revealed. She is not Nima’s alter ego but rather another soul trying to exist in Nima’s body. What seems to be a relationship built on camaraderie eventually reveals itself to be competitive and cutthroat. When Nima falls into the river, she thinks, “I understand her plan / to make herself the only option [...] to return to my life as herself” (155). Instead of perfection, Yasmeen embodies selfish desperation; she cares only about the possibility of a life and will do whatever it takes to make that a reality. Ultimately, Nima chooses to save Yasmeen from drowning even though the spirit girl betrayed her. This interaction is the turning point for Nima because it represents that the what-ifs about who she could have been are less important than who she is: a compassionate girl willing to save an enemy who is trying to destroy her. That compassion comes full circle when Nima helps Yasmeen find another body, Jazz, who becomes a friend of Nima and Haitham in America.

At first, Haitham appears to be a foil to Nima. Where she is quiet and self-deprecating, he is social, confident, and well-loved by his peers, both American and Sudanese. At school, Haitham is always surrounded by a group of adoring boys, and although he waves to Nima, he does not socialize with her there. Despite these differences, he is Nima’s only friend and is genuinely kind to her, which allows her to be herself when they hang out at home or are together in Arabic class. He jokes gently about her love of traditional music, dance, and film, calling her a “nostalgia monster” (14). However, Haitham, too, indulges in all of it, even quoting movie lines with her.

It is not until Haitham is hospitalized after a hate crime that it becomes clear that he is not a foil for Nima but rather a compliment to her. Before the attack, the two friends argue and refuse to talk with each other. When Nima travels back in time, she learns that Haitham has had to deal with just as much uncertainty about his father as Nima has about hers. She thinks, “i wonder how much he knows about this man whose face / he wears [...] / i wonder / if he ever feels unwanted” (121). Although this moment emphasizes a shift in Nima from selfish to caring for others, it also reveals that despite Haitham’s happy-go-lucky exterior, he is grappling with uncertainty too. However, instead of focusing on the negative, like Nima, Haitham enjoys life and embraces what he has. The silence Nima endures while Haitham is in a coma serves as a vehicle for her to discover her own joy and not depend on Haitham to be the sole light in her life.

Through Nima’s eyes, for half the novel Aisha seems to be a flat character. Characterized primarily by her grief for her dead husband, she keeps many pictures of the man around their apartment and seems to be constantly fatigued from life and work. When Nima describes her mother’s name, she says, “aisha    means    she who lives / but mostly she goes to work & comes home tired / & watches television    & sometimes / in the television’s blue glow / her eyes make tears that do not fall” (6). Instead of living up to her name, Aisha is defined by her grief and difficult life in America. Despite this, she tries to instill in Nima a pride in her culture, both through her love of traditional dance and by her insistence that the Islamophobic men at the airport “were wrong    not us    i will never / be ashamed of where i come from / i will never let you be ashamed / of who we are" (50). Even when perceived by Nima as one-dimensional, Aisha tries to impart important lessons to her daughter.

Once Nima journeys to the Sudan of the past, she realizes that her mother is more complex and multi-faceted: a strong woman, a loyal friend, a dancer, and a loving mother. After witnessing her father’s betrayal and the unrest in Sudan, Nima finally registers the depths of her mother’s love and tells Aisha, “you’re all the family i need    you’re all the parent i need / i’m sorry    thank you for making us this life from nothing […] i choose you    you’re all i need     you’re all of it” (196). Embedded within Nima’s apology and gratitude is all the love Aisha has given her daughter over the years. She is much more than a grief-stricken, tired woman. These words imply her strength in providing not just the necessities for her daughter in a new country but love and emotional support as well.

Hala, also called Khaltu (auntie) Hala by Nima, is Haitham’s mother. Also a single parent who immigrated to the United States, she is Aisha’s best friend. Unlike most of Nima’s close circle of family and friends, Hala does not relish the stories and culture of her past. This is because she endured trauma in Sudan when she was arrested for adultery with Haitham’s father, who was a married man. As a result of this arrest, her head was shaved and she was beaten. Despite the pain of her past, Hala loves Nima like family and adores Haitham, and ultimately is the reason Aisha comes to America.