Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir

Ramadan is a 30-day period of fasting and religious observance in Islam. During Ramadan, observant Muslims do not eat or drink during the day. Lamya describes it as “the month of virtue and restraint” (182). It is considered particularly holy during this time to read the entire Quran, which Lamya tries to do. The meal to break fast at sundown every day is called iftar. Even though Liv, Lamya’s partner, is not religious, she demonstrates her commitment to Lamya and understanding of her religious practice by “cook[ing] elaborate meals for me during Ramadan” and acting as her “backup iftar buddy” (238).

A surah is a chapter in the Quran. There are 411 surahs altogether. Surah means “chapter” (e.g., Surah Maryam and Surah al-Nisa). Lamya focuses on her readings of certain surahs as a structure for many of the chapters of Hijab Butch Blues. For instance, Chapter 1 covers Lamya’s reading and interpretation of Surah Maryam, or Mary’s Chapter, at age 14. Lamya has instinctive emotional responses to some of the surahs. For instance, she used to “avoid” Surah al-Jinn, or the chapter about jinn, because thinking about them made her feel “scared and disgusted,” but as an adult, she learned to appreciate the surah differently.

Lamya generally describes herself as “queer,” although she occasionally also uses the descriptor “gay.” “Queer” is a term often favored by younger generations to describe a variety of gender and sexual orientations that are not cisnormative and/or heteronormative. In Lamya’s case, queer describes her identity as a nonbinary person who dates women. The term “queer” can be controversial, especially among older generations, as shown in the conversation that Lamya had with an older lesbian couple at the LGBTQ+ center who “went into a long rant about words that are currently fashionable that were not around when they were coming out” (103-04). “Queer” is often used by LGBTQ+ people to transform what had once been a slur into a positive descriptor. Although Lamya is proud of her queer identity, she does not share it with her family, as they hold anti-LGBTQ+ beliefs.