Guests of the Sheik

In this chapter, Elizabeth describes the three-day “Iid el-Fitr" (the feast of fast-breaking) in El Nahra (116). Because tradition dictates that the entire El Eshadda tribe must feast at the house of Haji Hamid at least once as “a tacit demonstration of their loyalty to the sheik,” the women of the household all mobilize to produce three massive meals that will feed 200 to 800 men (116). Elizabeth is particularly fascinated by the variety of the food and insists on seeing everything that is being served. The women of the household welcome her happily. The feast is organized and supervised by Kulthum, the sheik’s oldest wife. Elizabeth notes that she does so with great efficiency and that she is proud of her work. One of the feast’s traditions includes purchasing and receiving new clothes, so Elizabeth sees the tribesmen and the children decked out in new finery. She joins the household’s women in watching dances that Haji Hamid organizes as “a special treat in my honor” (123).

Elizabeth comes to the realization that “I had been partially accepted” (130). She also finds her first real friend in the village: Laila, the daughter of the sheik’s estranged brother Moussa (130). Elizabeth notes, “I realized from a remark of Selma’s that Laila has chosen me as her friend” (130). She spends a significant amount of time at Moussa’s house because of this friendship. Because Moussa has nine daughters and no sons, his house is especially guarded to ensure the safety of the women. Nevertheless, Elizabeth notes that they always know what is happening due to the informal information network and peepholes that are built into the home. Laila also visits Elizabeth regularly: “her calls were never announced in advance and were often inconvenient, but I would put down whatever I was doing and sit and talk” (130). Laila often brings along interesting characters such as an older cousin, who is eager to see Elizabeth’s fridge, or the local beautician, who insists that Elizabeth should get a tattoo or a piercing.  

Because weddings are a costly affair and because the people of El Nahra are relatively poor, Elizabeth notes that four weddings were rolled into one “to provide a more spectacular feast and entertainment” (136). Laila takes Elizabeth to see each one of the brides, and Elizabeth notices their differences. The first bride, Sahura, is rather poor, and she is being married as a package deal along with her brother. Sahura seems nervous about her future, especially since she must join the household of her husband instead of remain in El Nahra. The second bride is “relaxed and pretty” (141). The third bride is a Sayid and, therefore, “bound to marry a Sayid” (142). The fourth bride, who is fourteen years old, is controversial because the village considers her too young to be married, especially to a much older man. Elizabeth and Laila, as well as some of the more adventurous daughters of Haji Hamid, observe the wedding meal and entertainment as well as the announcement of the consummation of the marriages. 

Laila takes Elizabeth to visit her best friend, Salima, the daughter of a cloth merchant. The visit causes both Elizabeth and Laila to reflect on marriage in El Nahra because Salima married outside of her extended family. Elizabeth doesn’t understand why the women of the El Eshadda tribe, including Laila, balk at marrying outside of the tribe. Though Laila sees that Salima is happy and has gained access to many things that are unavailable to women in El Nahra, such as a honeymoon in Baghdad, Laila still abhors the idea of having to leave her family and enter an entirely different household. Elizabeth fails to understand how the tribeswomen approach marriage to their cousins, especially since they cannot have contact with each other until their marriage. Laila explains that both parties know who is marrying whom early on, and they often play together as children. To Elizabeth, this is unfathomable, but to Laila, it is simply tradition. Elizabeth reflects on how waves of globalization and modernization have robbed the tribeswomen of El Nahra, forcing many to remain unmarried because the men of the tribe pursue women outside of the tribe and abandon their intended spouses.

Elizabeth reflects on the practice of polygamy in rural parts of Iraq. She discovers that the practice pre-dates Islam, and she learns that the Prophet Muhammad and the Quran attempted to check the practice by stipulating that a man could have only four wives and only if he could provide and care for each one equally. She realizes that the practice persists in rural parts of Iraq because it is traditional and because it has a social and economic purpose. Nevertheless, she notes that the practice is uncommon and that “In the tribal settlement of one hundred and four households, for example, only nine were or ever had been polygamous” (163). Despite this, the women of El Nahra worry constantly about being superseded by another wife, and they go to great pains to ensure that they never are. Most of the men in El Nahra cannot afford a second wife and are aware of the social repercussions of doing so, so they tend to avoid the practice as well. Despite their preoccupations, women exercise great power in this realm of society.