Ghosts

When she was 10 years old, Nina and her parents moved to a suburb of London called Pinner. Joe always acted superior to Nina since he was from the North, a place synonymous with the working class of England, but after she visited his hometown, she saw that there wasn’t much difference between her Pinner and his Yorkshire. Nina now enjoys visiting her home as it reminds her of the simplicity of childhood. Nina’s mother, Nancy, enjoys dressing in loud clothing, wearing a lot of jewelry and makeup, and exercising. When Nina arrives, Nancy is on the phone making plans for her book club, which she calls a “literary salon”; at their next meeting, they are discussing a book by a noted feminist writer.

There’s a 20-year age gap between Nancy and Nina’s father, Bill, who met at their place of employment. Aside from their age difference, they have very different personalities. Two years ago, Nina’s father, a teacher, had a stroke and began to experience symptoms of cognitive decline. As Nina goes to greet her father, she notes that while he looks the same as before his stroke, he sometimes struggles to piece together details in his thinking. She is happy to hear him call her by her nickname, “Bean.” Nancy tells Nina that she is considering changing her name to Mandy, as she feels that her given name no longer suits her. Nina thinks the idea is preposterous but is more concerned about Nancy converting her father’s study to a meeting room for the literary salon, explaining that her father needs a place to go to remember things. Nancy leaves to attend a yoga class and Nina asks Bill if he wants toast to tide him over, but he seems confused. Nina stops by the study and muses over her father’s collected papers and memorabilia but suddenly smells smoke. She finds her father in the kitchen with the newspaper burning in the toaster. He doesn’t understand what is happening.

Lola coaches Nina through the murky rules of online dating. At first, the prospect of combing through potential mates from the comfort of her couch thrills Nina, and she feels optimistic about all the potential prospects. However, Lola bursts her bubble by offering up wisdom from seven years spent on the apps and explains that the algorithm controls much of the action, and most people tire of the process after a few months. Nina initially makes 27 matches but finds that once she begins conversing with the men in the app, they never make it past casual, surface-level conversation. The more time she spends on Linx, Nina sees that most men are feigning interest in certain activities or exaggerating personality traits to make themselves more attractive and Nina sees right through it. She thinks, “How clear it suddenly was that we are all the same organs, tissue and liquids packaged up in one version of a million clichés, who all have insecurities and desires; the need to feel nurtured, important, understood and useful in one way or another” (31).

Nina finally matches with someone named Max who wants to meet at a local pub for a drink. From his profile photo, Nina is intrigued by his height, shaggy brown hair, and green eyes. They bond through messages over several shared interests like music, religion, swimming, and food preferences. Before she meets him, Nina shows his profile to Lola, who instantly recognizes him from the app, and Nina reminds herself that this form of dating is anything but personalized or private.

When Nina meets Max in person, she is instantly attracted to his rugged handsomeness. Conversation flows easily as they discuss their professional lives, poke fun at the dating app, and compare backgrounds. Max is an accountant but prefers spending time outdoors, camping and surfing. Nina explains her career as a food writer, and he seems genuinely interested in her passions. Max smokes, and though Nina quit three years earlier, she accepts his offer of a cigarette. After drinking a lot, lured by the thumping music, they go to a dance club and tear up the dancefloor for hours. Nina’s birthday song comes on, and she tells Max that her middle name, Michael, is a nod to the singer George Michael. They kiss for the first time on the dancefloor. After grabbing a bite to eat, they make out on a park bench. Internally Nina knows she is falling for every stereotypical patriarchal dating trap, but she is swept away by her attraction to Max and how much attention he shows her. Before saying goodbye, Max tells Nina that he is certain that he will marry her.

Nina knows that her friendship with Katherine is strained. She explains, “I had started, for the first time in over twenty years of friendship, longing to only meet Katherine at the cinema ten minutes before a late film began” (43). Their relationship has shifted seismically since Katherine became a mother to Olive, and though Nina is Olive’s godmother, Katherine constantly makes Nina feel inferior for not being married and or being a mother. Additionally, Katherine and Mark became good friends with Joe while he and Nina were dating, and their breakup made the friendship awkward, as they still spend time with Joe without Nina.

Nina arrives for a visit with chocolate cupcakes for Olive, who calls her “Aunty Neenaw.” In a tense conversation, Katherine reveals her pregnancy and tells Nina that she isn’t planning to return to work after the new baby arrives. Furthermore, they are moving to Surrey. The revelation shocks Nina, who hates Surrey, but Katherine asserts that it’s the best decision for their growing family. They briefly reminisce about how long they once spent talking on the phone in college. Katherine asks if Nina’s father is getting better, and Nina angrily explains that he won’t get better. Katherine shares that Lucy and Joe came over for dinner recently, which rankles Nina, but she doesn’t show it. Nina shares that she is dating again and has fallen for Max, but he hasn’t called her since their date. Katherine tells her to reach out, but Nina says that Lola forbade her from making the first move. Nina feels like Katherine is making fun of her for using the dating app and is happy when their visit ends.

At home, Nina finds a notice that she missed a package delivery. The mailman left it with her elusive downstairs neighbor, Angelo Ferretti. Nina knocks on his door, and he gruffly gives her the package. Nina tries to make small talk, but Angelo is rude and calls her a “whore” in Italian as she leaves.

Nina meets Lola to attend an exercise class. Lola, dressed in her trademark outlandish style, regales Nina with descriptions of her sex romp from the previous night. Nina muses on how she met Lola in college and is attracted to her zest for life and earnest, self-effacing kindness. Lola is generous, sometimes to a fault, and though Nina is nothing like her, their friendship works in part due to their shared status as single women. Though Lola desperately wants to settle down with a husband and family, she is fickle and loathes sitting still. Describing her flightiness, Nina says: “I had come to realize this was not evidence of Lola’s frivolity but was instead her tribute to what she saw as the one great opportunity of being alive” (57). Nina and Lola skip the exercise class and spend the day drinking wine in a pub. Though it’s been three days since her date with Max, Lola forbids Nina from texting him. Lola tells Nina a story that they add to their "Schadenfreude Shelf,” a metaphorical place where they store tales of people who have it worse than they do. The story is about a happily married woman who enters an affair and gives up everything to be with her lover, only to have her heart broken and be made a fool of when he disappears. Max texts Nina and Lola reads it first. He says he can’t stop listening to “The Edge of Heaven” or thinking about her.