Everybody

The Usher channels the voice of God, who announces their presence and becomes annoyed and indignant at laughter in the audience. God complains that humans don’t take God seriously, even though God created the human race and the world. God wonders if people mock God for not having eyes—but explains that omnipotence means God doesn’t need eyes. Humans ought to be grateful instead of laughing. God created humanity on impulse to make the world better, but humans are destructive and wicked when left to their own devices: “Don’t you hear the remainder of my creation, the wonder that is everything, crying out for justice against you?” (13) Therefore, God decides to “have a reckoning of everybody’s person” (13), and calls for Death, who enters from the audience. God tells Death to summon Everybody, so God can adjust the humanity experiment.

When Death asks for further instruction, God tiredly tells Death to figure it out for themself and exits the Usher’s body. Nervously, Death wonders what they should do. Death searches the audience for Everybody, finding five Somebodies and telling one of them, “even though you seem to have forgotten about ‘God,’ ‘God’ thinks about you pretty much all the time” (15). The Somebodies are skeptical that they are talking to Death and demand proof. Death obliges; when Death whispers something to one Somebody, all of the Somebodies hear and recoil in sudden terror.

The Somebodies ask if God exists. Death replies, “I don’t know what’s ‘real’ to you? What you see? What you feel? And why isn’t it ever enough that I’m real?” (16). The Somebodies give excuses as to why they aren’t quite ready to die, attempt to bribe Death, and complain that they will never see their loved ones again. Death tells them sardonically that their friends and family could come along if they’re courageous enough. The Somebodies beg for Death to give them a chance to find someone who might help them present their lives to God. Death relents and exits, exclaiming that the Somebodies can look for companionship until Death returns.

The Usher reenters with a lottery apparatus. Before each performance, a lottery determines who will play which character: “This is done in an attempt to more closely thematize the randomness of death while also destabilizing your preconceived notions about identity, et cetera, et cetera, blah, blah, blah” (19). In practical terms, this means that all cast members memorize the lines of the entire play and that there are 120 potential versions of the cast—the audience is most likely seeing a new combination. The lottery finishes and the Usher exits. When Everybody steps forward, confused, Death clarifies with exasperations, “You’re dying, Everybody. Starting now” (20). The lights go out.

In the dark, Everybody converses with random voices, attempting to explain the first two scenes of the play as a dream (but also a play). In the middle of the dream, Everybody woke disoriented, wondering if the dream had been a vision. The dream went on when they fell asleep again. The disembodied voices are confused.

Lights rise to reveal Everybody lip-synching as one of the Somebodies speaks in voiceover. The voice wonders if this is really happening or if they are experiencing a dream or vision. Are they dying? Is dying just going on a trip and then giving a report on their life? They wonder whether they ought to have paid better attention to their own life in order to prepare for this presentation, becoming agitated. How they were supposed to know they’d need to do this? How were they meant to make note of the period when they were a baby with no language skills? They’d had to focus on living their life! Suddenly, the voice asks, “Why did you have to live again? […] OH NO DID LIFE NOT HAVE A POINT?” (22) They reassure themself that life did have a purpose, such as finding community with others. Then they remember that Death agreed that they could bring someone with them.

One of the Somebodies becomes Friendship, greeting Everybody with an enthusiastic monologue full of cheerfully generic banter, such as: “Aren’t you tired of social media? But I liked all those pictures you put up of that small child slash animal in your family slash social circle” (23). Friendship asks, “Do you remember that time we all did that thing together that one time? Do you ever look back on that moment like, ‘Wow. That was the most important, most formative experience of my life’?” (23). Friendship goads Everybody to explain what’s going on, swearing, “I would literally go to hell and back for you!” (24).

But when Everybody asks Friendship to accompany them to give a presentation to God, Friendship declines vigorously: Their offer to “go to hell” included “and back” (25). Friendship offers Everybody a gift instead: an “ugly trophy” (26), which they identify as a “Lifetime Achievement Award […] for achieving your life” (26) and for dying first. Friendship exits, calling to people offstage, “You guys! I’m so upset! My friend is dying! But I’ve made art about it! Please, come look!” (27) Lights go down.

In darkness, Everybody tells the voices that all of this has still been part of the dream. One voice asks, “why are people talking like that?” (27), mimicking Friendship’s AAVE, or African American Vernacular English. Everybody becomes offended and angry at the voice. The voice argues, and other voices apologize and try to keep the peace.

Everybody lip-synchs two voices speaking in unison. Everybody berates themself for spending so much time and effort cultivating friends that disappeared when they needed them. They were fooled into believing that they weren’t really alone in the world or that there is a reason for their existence. Then Everybody reassures themself that they are a part of something real and tangible: their family. Since some family members have known them since before they were self-aware, they might even be able to help with the presentation.