Every Last Word

While working on her French homework, Samantha receives a text message from an unknown number at 7:45 p.m. that just says: “P.C.” She understands this to mean “Poet’s Corner,” signaling to everyone on the group text that an evening, impromptu poetry session is being called into action.

Under the guise that she is going to the pool for a swim, Samantha’s parents tell her to enjoy as she leaves for the evening. Samantha drives to the school, and AJ is waiting for her in the parking lot. He welcomes her to her first “P.M.,” which is an after-hours meeting of Poet’s Corner, a tradition that happens from time to time “just to shake things up” (255), as AJ puts it. Samantha and AJ share a kiss in the parking lot before they make their way inside, and AJ suggests that maybe tonight they reveal to the group that they are dating. Samantha hesitates, and before she can respond, he says never mind, that they can tell them later.

When they enter the theater, the members of Poet’s Corner are on stage gathered together in the dark theater. AJ and Sydney take the stage and announce to the group that the next day there will be an open mic at a small club in the city. Several Poet’s Corner members will be performing, which will mark the first time they perform outside of the theater, so other members are encouraged to come and cheer them on. After this preliminary announcement, AJ explains how a P.M. works: One member will randomly select a poem from another member’s journal to be read aloud.

Abigail picks a poem for Cameron, then Emily picks a poem for Jessica, then Chelsea picks one for Sydney. Finally, it's Samantha’s turn, with Chelsea picking one for her. When Samantha sees the poem that Chelsea randomly selected, she becomes nervous: “This is bad” (262). The poem is somewhat revealing about Samantha’s OCD, which she has kept secret until now, but vague enough that she is still comfortable reading it to the audience: “I like it when you’re here/Everything is quiet./Peaceful./So silent, I almost feel sane./You take my mind off my mind./Stay./Just one more page./Please?” (263). Everyone erupts into applause when Samantha finishes, with Caroline cheering the loudest. Samantha is pleased that she has, albeit indirectly, told the group about her mental struggles.

Samantha then chooses a poem for AJ, and the one that she selects causes him to blush. AJ reads it and it is apparent, to Samantha at least, that the poem was written immediately after she left his house the first time they hung out alone: “After you left/I sat in my room/Remembering all the things you said, and/Wondering about all the things you didn’t” (265). Given the way AJ is staring at Samantha as he reads the poem, the audience begins to understand that the poem is about her. AJ leaves the stage and joins Samantha on the couch, putting his arm around her. The group begins whistling and cheering, and it is clear that they now fully understand that Samantha and AJ are together.

With the first P.M. now over, the members of Poet’s Corner begin to file out. Samantha and AJ, however, hang back in the parking lot. They begin kissing passionately and decide to return to Poet’s Corner where they have sex for the first time: “Our hips are pressed together, and I can’t believe how incredible it feels to be this close to him” (268). After they finish, Samantha is overcome with feelings of love as she and AJ lie together in Poet’s Corner.

Samantha enters the lunchroom and the Crazy Eights are already sitting at their usual table. Samantha is still aflame thinking about her night with AJ last night: “I’m too excited and nervous and elated, too everything to eat right now” (271). When Alexis suggests having a sleepover at her place that night, Samantha decides to tell the group about AJ. She declines the sleepover, and when Alexis jokingly asks if she has a “hot date” (271) that night, Samantha responds with a "yes." The group is shocked, and Kaitlyn even begins to make jokes about AJ’s previous stutter. Their reaction only eggs Samantha on, and she announces that, not only is she dating him, but that she is in love with him. At this, the group is completely dumbstruck. Alexis finally says that it makes sense because, lately, Samantha has seemed like a completely different person. Alexis goes onto say that this change is “not for the better,” but Samantha feels otherwise: “Not for the better? How could they not see that I’m a better person? I told Shrink-Sue I felt healthier, more in control of my emotions than I ever have” (274). Samantha takes a strong stance against the Crazy Eights and tells them that perhaps they used to know her, but she does not think they know who she is anymore. She concludes by saying that Kaitlyn owes AJ an apology, referring to the mocking way Kaitlyn imitated AJ just moments ago. 

Samantha leaves the lunchroom and heads toward her locker to find Caroline there, a welcome sight to which she can vent about what just happened with the Crazy Eights. Samantha tells Caroline that she just told the Crazy Eights about AJ, which was good, but most importantly Samantha stood up for AJ when Kaitlyn began making cruel jokes about the stutter he used to have. Caroline says that she knows, she saw the whole thing, which confuses Samantha since Caroline, as far as she knew, had not been in the lunchroom. Caroline gathers her backpack and goes to leave, urging Samantha to tell AJ about her. Samantha is confused by this statement, but is distracted when her phone beeps, signaling that she has a text message. It is from AJ, asking her how it went. Samantha responds saying it went really well. Samantha and AJ continue texting, and he informs her that he is going to play an open mic that evening. She responds with “!!!” and emphasizes that she has lots to tell him when they meet in-person at her locker.

When AJ arrives at her locker, Samantha asks him if he happened to see Caroline on his way over. AJ is puzzled at the mention of Caroline and asks who Samantha is referring to. Samantha laughs and says, of course, Caroline Madsen. At this point, AJ is startled: “His eyes grow wider and I watch the color totally drain from his face. ‘What did you say?’ I feel the tug on my fingers as he starts to step away from me, and I release his belt loops, letting my hands fall to my sides” (281). Samantha tries to explain, of course AJ knows Caroline—she is the reason he let Samantha stay at Poet’s Corner the first day she arrived. AJ becomes increasingly frightened and takes a big step backward from Samantha and corrects her: the first time Samantha came to Poet’s Corner she was alone, and the reason he let her in was because she said Poet’s Corner might possibly change her life. AJ asks Samantha if she knows who Caroline Madsen is, and Samantha says that of course she does. AJ informs her that Caroline is dead—she committed suicide many years ago, back in 2007. AJ backs away farther and farther, saying he needs to go to class. Samantha is now even more confused, thinking that Caroline was there just there: “She was just here ten minutes ago. Wasn’t she? I was standing here talking to her. Wasn’t I?” (283). Samantha runs to the parking lot and gets in her car, headed to “the only place it occurs to [her] to go” (283). 

Samantha drives to Shrink-Sue’s office in a panic. When she arrives, she frantically tells the receptionist that she needs to see Sue for an emergency session. Samantha is having a full-blown panic attack. She cannot stop crying, she can barely breath. Through her tears and delirium, Samantha hears the receptionist say that Sue is not in the office, and that she will not return for the day. Sitting there in Sue’s office, she still cannot believe that Caroline is not a real person: “AJ is wrong; he has to be. Caroline was there, at every reading during every lunch hour. She sat next to me. She met me in the theater” (285). Samantha flees the office and heads back into her car. She drives to the top of a nearby hill that she knows will be deserted.

Samantha frantically wonders what is happening to her, thinking back on the last few months with Caroline. She remembers that Caroline is a technophobe without a cell phone, thus she is never on any of the Poet’s Corner group text messages. She did not call or text Samantha ever, and Samantha accepted that because of Caroline’s quirky nature. Samantha opens the internet browser on her cell phone and searches “Caroline Madsen 2007.” A multitude of links come up related to news of Caroline’s suicide, many of them alluding to the fact that she was driven to suicide because of bullying. As Samantha reads over the articles, the true story starts to emerge: “Now everything starts to fall into place” (287). Samantha begins to truly realize that Caroline is not real: “But Caroline never read on stage. She came to my house, but she always left before anyone got home. We wrote together in the theater, just the two of us, alone in the dark. She never minded being my secret” (288).

Samantha exits her car and vomits alongside the oak tree at the top of the hill. She clutches her knees to her chest, devastated at the weight of the realization that Caroline was a figment of her imagination. She cries uncontrollably: “I feel the sting on my skin, but I keep going, not bothering to wipe the tears as they stream down my cheeks, feeling empty and cold, mourning the loss of my best friend like it’s recent and raw” (289). Samantha rocks back and forth, unable to stop her panic.