Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, the co-authors of Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close, exemplify the power and complexity of modern friendships. Their individual backgrounds, upbringings, education, and professional trajectories enrich their narrative and add authority to their stories as they explore the nuances of long-lasting friendship.

Sow and Friedman’s childhoods helped form their views on friendship. Sow was born in Guinea and raised in Nigeria. In Big Friendship, she shares that her upbringing in the tumultuous political climate of Nigeria in the 1990s shaped her views on the work that goes into sustaining a friendship. She witnessed her parents artfully maintain connections across the continent, in both wartime and peace, devoting much time and effort to keeping in touch with friends in different countries. This experience taught Sow that preserving friendships was important and worthwhile even in the face of difficulties.

Friedman grew up in Iowa. Her parents kept in touch with their friends from college, and her mother often wrote letters to friends. In Big Friendship, Friedman shares that while her family was Catholic, she did not adhere to religious values. However, her upbringing instilled in her the importance of hard work and maintaining relationships long-term.

Friedman pursued her education in journalism, leading to a career as a writer, editor, and media expert. Her professional journey has been marked by a keen interest in gender, politics, and culture, topics that inform the content and approach of Big Friendship. Meanwhile, Sow’s education and career have spanned multiple disciplines, including technology and digital strategy. These experiences have equipped her with unique insights into the role of digital spaces in fostering and maintaining friendships, a theme that the authors explore in Big Friendship.

Sow and Friedman’s decision to work together on Call Your Girlfriend, a podcast that delves into pop culture, politics, and feminism through the lens of their friendship, marked a pivotal point in their relationship. This collaborative project not only allowed them to blend their professional skills and interests but also to explore the dynamics of their friendship in a public forum. At the same time, Sow and Friedman privately experienced a growing rift in their friendship while maintaining an image of their idealized, aspirational, public relationship both on their podcast and on social media. They explore this dichotomy at length in Big Friendship, adding a modern dimension to their examination of friendship.

Big Friendship emerges as a natural extension of Sow and Friedman’s friendship and collaborative work. Their combined experiences—Sow’s insights into technology and digital culture, and Friedman’s background in journalism and keen analysis of societal trends—equip them to dissect and celebrate the complexities of contemporary friendships. The book is thoroughly researched, and the authors frequently reference experts and studies that bolster their insights.