Almost American Girl

These chapters portray the uprooting of Robin’s life: The previously strong and dependent bond she shared with her mother is rocked by trust issues, and Robin works through being ostracized and mocked in her new country.

The memoir introduces the theme of The Stress and Strength of Mother/Daughter Relationships in these first chapters. Robin portrays her own teenage self as content and fully trusting of her mother’s guidance. Robin is aware of the sacrifices her mother made for her as a child. Robin “thought nothing bad could ever happen to [her] as long as [her] mom was there” (42). However, there is sometimes tension between them, as Robin’s mother often expects Robin to act the same way she would have in Robin’s situation. There is particular dissonance between how Robin and her mother process her mother’s secrecy in the move. Robin’s mother tells her, “Everything I do is for your own good,” while Robin questions, “How do you know what’s good for me when you just took away everyone and everything I love?” (43) They have two different ideas about what is “good” for Robin, and Robin struggles to understand her mother’s point of view.

In her “Acknowledgements” at the back of the memoir, Robin writes that before starting her memoir, she did not understand why her mother uprooted her and “caused us so much pain by moving to America. Our lives in Korea didn’t seem bad at all” (1). Even into adulthood, her mother’s reasoning did not make sense until her mother accepted the fact that Robin would be writing about their immigration story and began to explain her reasoning, which Robin portrays in flashbacks through the narrative.

The teenaged Robin is thinking about what is good for her in the short term. When her mother tells her they are staying in Alabama, she is immediately concerned about her friends, things, and comics. The Power of Stories in Shaping Identity guides who Robin is as a teen; losing access to those stories and the people she shares them with is devastating, and she cannot envision her life without them.

Robin’s mother is thinking about what is good for Robin in the long term. Though her mother keeps the news of their move secret, she does reveal hints to Robin that she is not content in Korea, subtly preparing Robin for the idea that Korea will not be their long-term home. Her mother listens to a radio show every morning that teaches its listeners English. Robin does not know why her mom bothers learning, since “nobody speaks English in Korea” (4). Her mom insists that “it’s good to know for travelling” (4) and tells her that if she gets along with Mr. Kim, “we might stay a little longer in America” (5). Robin senses something strange about their vacation, but ultimately feels too awkward to ask for more details. This leads to a communication breakdown in which Robin desires but has no knowledge of her mother’s reasoning for moving them, and her mother does not want to explain—perhaps because explaining the social prejudice she faced is too sensitive, or because she wants to shield Robin from that type of gendered prejudice.

Since Robin’s mother is thinking long term, she does not know how to optimally support Robin through the short-term struggles that she faces due to the Cultural Differences in Prejudice and Social Norms between Korea and the United States. In Korea, when people ask Robin where her father is, her mother coaches her to lie to deflect people’s judgment. She tells Robin to reply that “he is working overseas” (72). While this strategy might alleviate the judgment they face, it does not teach Robin any coping skills for working through interpersonal conflicts.

Her mom’s lessons are mostly about ignoring gossip and persevering through it: “Ignore them and study hard! Don’t waste your time caring about what they think” (77). This tactic is a good fit for Robin’s mother, who excels at stoically persevering through adversity. Robin’s character is much more emotional than her mother’s. She relies on friends and creative outlets like stories to cope with adverse situations and has trouble turning the other cheek to cruelty. When Bryan mocks her with racist language and belittles her, Robin sits alone in the cafeteria and “can’t stop the tears from coming” (69). The advice to ignore the taunts, while well-intentioned, is not the advice that Robin needs. Through the next few chapters, she will continue to struggle with the isolation and judgment she faces in her new home while continuing to navigate her relationship with her mother.