A Complicated Kindness

Like many fathers, Ray is an enigma to his daughter Nomi, but his mystery is exacerbated by his resigned attitude toward his shattered family, his unwavering faith in the Mennonite religion that hurt him, and his general nature of stoic suffering. He is a serious man who does not have any appetite for fun or enjoyment, so much so that it was embarrassing to his family before Tash and Trudie left. Nevertheless, his connection to the lively Trudie is genuine, and their love for each other is keenly felt.

Ray knows that he is something of a pariah in the community, a role he bears willingly; he is particularly under scrutiny from The Mouth and Mr. Quiring (the latter likely because Trudie chose excommunication rather than continuing to hurt Ray through her affair with Quiring). Nomi’s boyfriend Travis likens him to the boy holding back floodwaters with his thumb in the dike. Only Nomi sees the true nature of his kindness and dignity, and she goes out of her way to be protective of him and care for him. He sees this but can’t articulate his true feelings toward her.

Ray is a man who is torn between the faith that gives his life meaning and the institution of that faith that has frequently punished or hurt the people he loves. He sees this cycle repeating with Nomi, and he chooses to bear the schism privately rather than leave Nomi with the obligation. He spends the novel selling off their belongings, which Nomi thinks is an element of his grief; it’s actually him preparing to leave her free from her last connections to East Village so that she can leave and start a life of her own. His de facto emancipation of his daughter isn’t viewed as abandonment by either of them; it’s the first step on a necessary path toward healing after several years of living in stasis.

Nomi’s mother, Trudie, is gone by the time the novel begins, but understanding who she was and what Nomi should take away from her departure is a key element of the novel. Trudie is a vivacious, free-spirited woman who nevertheless had a deep love for Ray Nickel, who is very nearly her opposite. She is an active participant in the Mennonite faith, but there is a rebellious streak in her, particularly toward her brother Hans (The Mouth), who is the church leader and who demands obedience from his congregants, particularly women, and wields church authority with severity.

Nomi discovers two things about Trudie that shake her ideas: the first is that Trudie has doubts about the Mennonite faith and sees the way it hurts her children, particularly Tash. The other is that Trudie has an affair with Mr. Quiring, Nomi’s English teacher; the affair likely began around the time Mr. Quiring took an interest in Tash’s poor fit in the community. When Trudie breaks off the affair and tries to return to Ray, she is blackmailed by Mr. Quiring, and she ultimately faces her excommunication from the church rather than continue the relationship. Her whereabouts are unknown to Nomi, though she chooses to believe that she is happy somewhere abroad, even though she didn’t take her passport.

Tash is a typical rebellious teenager and a role model to the younger Nomi. She, too, is gone throughout the novel’s plot, but her disappearance is clearer: she left with Ian, a local boy who has rebelled against the church, and she has embraced atheism rather than continue in the Mennonite faith. She leaves with the full blessing of Trudie and at least the understanding of Ray, though the younger Nomi sees this as a betrayal of the promise of their family being together for all eternity. As the novel progresses and Nomi moves into adolescence, she begins to look at Tash as a role model. Though her memories of Tash are more likely to be mocking or offhand thoughts than true inspiration, Nomi finds comfort in them anyway.